Wednesday, May 30, 2007

We Have A New Son!

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"What would you say if I told you that you have a new son?"

These were the incredibly wonderful words of our social worker yesterday.

WE HAVE A NEW SON!!! The way it happened, the way it unexpectedly happened, made it one of the happiest moments of my life.

Our new son's name is Minh Vu, he is five years old, he loves to sing, laugh, play soccer and entertain. He is a favorite of the nannies in his orphanage. I still can't believe he is OURS!

I first saw my son nearly two months ago on a photolisting for waiting children. I looked at his picture and thought, "he's the one." Eric looked at his picture and said, "Let's request his file."

Up until that point we were still set on adopting a girl although every now and then we would question that decision. When we requested a daughter we knew there were more families who wanted a girl but we had no idea that a whopping 85% of families only want a girl. Older boys, especially, seemed to wait and wait, even healthy boys; while older girls, even with special needs, seemed to find families immediately. Over time, our hearts began to be pulled towards the waiting boys. After all, we love our boys as much as we love our girls.

Boys are fun! They are curious and full of energy. They love to build and dig and create and get dirty. And boys get along better with their friends than girls do. Yes, I realize I am being sexist here and when I was in college I would have argued to the ends of the earth with that kind of thinking. But having the experience of raising five boys and two girls, having done daycare off and on for the last 27 years, and being surrounded by a multitude of children every day of my life, I have come to this conclusion. Boys ARE different. And boys are SO MUCH FUN!

Still, it was hard to switch gears from a girl. We had a girl's name all picked out. Our girls wanted a girl and we thought it would be fun to have a girl again after our last two being boys. We looked forward to buying dolls and jeweled high heeled shoes and Hello Kitty accessories.

And yet, those boys pulled at our hearts. I started to pray about the issue and I immediately had a most memorable dream about adopting a little boy and in the dream we were so happy! Two days later, we saw Vu's picture on the photolisting. I had an immediate connection to him. So did Eric. That night I had a dream that we adopted Vu-and his brother too. (Not sure where the brother part came from but it was most definitely Vu.) Monday we called to tell our agency we wanted to be considered for a boy and I talked to someone about Vu. We got his file.

We spent the next few days falling in love with him but when we talked to our agency about him we found they had a general rule against adopting a child into a family where there would be two same age, same gender children. Vu is five, just like our Patrick. We decided Vu must not be meant for us.

The next two months were so hard. Often, I would lie awake at night thinking how Vu was meant for our family and certain the two boys would get along well and be a great match for each other as they have very different personalities. During the day, I would try to talk some sense into myself, knowing that our agency has 50 years of experience in international adoption and have their "rules" for a reason. I respected those generalizations and the people making them. Surely, if God meant for Vu to be our son, He wouldn't make it so hard.

And yet, every chance I got, I asked about Vu. I have no doubt our social worker tired of me constantly asking little questions about him; about the possibility of making him our son. We all agreed we would wait until the expected referrals were made and then proceed from there if we didn't receive a referral.

The rest, as they say, is history. I expected that we would receive a referral of the child meant to be ours, and that didn't happen. We considered adopting a 4 year old and agonized over that decision for a week but in the end, we knew which child was meant to be ours. It was Minh Vu.

Minh Vu is our son! Minh Vu was meant to be ours from the moment we laid eyes on him. We can't wait to bring him home. We are so happy!

1 comment:

Christina said...

Congratulations!!!! This is SO exciting!! I agree... boys are really special and wonderful in their own way.
Can't wait to hear all about your son... hope the wait to travel isn't too long.
What a blessing!