Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Waiting

Yesterday was a crazy busy day. Today is much calmer and quieter. Yesterday seemed to fly by and even though I thought about Vu a lot, today I have more time to think about him, and the day seems to be going very, very, s.l.o.w.l.y. This leads me to consider how to spend the next few months of waiting.

For those who have never adopted, the period between getting matched with your child and actually bringing them home is the hardest part. It would be like giving birth, knowing full well you could not bring the child home from the hospital for several months. You would get pictures and updates but you would not be able to visit your child. You also would not have a definite date of when you would be able to bring your child home. This all adds up to lots of excitement but also a sense of deep longing to be with your child.

I don't like waiting. I am not patient when it comes to waiting--especially for our child. And having done this twice before does not make it any easier. So, I have two choices--be super, duper busy and have the time go by quickly, or keep things a little calmer and quieter, but have the time go by more slowly.

At first glance, the first option seems to make sense. But really, at least for me, the second option is the one I am going to choose. Why? Because I need that calm and quiet to be able to spend thinking about our Vu, planning for him, reading about how we can make his adjustment easier. I need that quiet time to spend one-on-one with my other children, filling them up with special time and love so they will be "full" when the time comes for our lives to be turned upside down. I need that quiet time to prepare myself and our marriage for a time that will be intense with changes, lack of sleep, a child who is scared and missing everything and everyone he has ever known. I need that time for prayer.

The months are going to go by a lot more slowly, but I will be infinitely more prepared when the blessed day arrives. So instead of filling our summer with lots of activities and non-stop days, (I will be having some of that as it would be impossible NOT to with my brood), but also some down time--quiet days like today.

And so, I wait . . . .

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