Sunday, August 19, 2007

The Loss Of One Son, Not Two

The Memorial Service is over. The phone is no longer ringing constantly. Not a single soul has knocked on the door today. Our out-of-town guests have all been taxied to the airport. Today is very quiet.

We had an AMAZING amount of support from friends and family these past two weeks (has it really only been weeks and not months?). I will forever feel a sense of awe and inspiration that so many people cared enough to send a card, call, come by, watch our children, clean our house, feed us, help us with really hard things--like buying clothing for the service. I remember walking around the department store, looking at skirts and trying to keep anguished tears at bay. I was buying something to wear to my SON'S funeral! Mothers aren't supposed to do that! It seemed so surreal--in a nightmarish kind of way. My mother and sister gently guided me.

This morning I said to dh that in some ways, it will be nice to get life back to . . . (I stumbled there) to get life back to what? Normal? That is what I wanted to say. But I know things will never be normal again! At least, not the normal that we once knew. So, I said I will be glad for things to get back into a routine.

It's going to take some time to find a new "normal." We do know our new normal is going to include traveling to Vietnam in a few weeks. Yes, for those who wondered, we are still going to bring Vu home from Vietnam. Was there ever any doubt??? He's our son and to leave him in Vietnam would be to lose not one, but two sons.


Nicole said...

Lots of support for sure. We wish we could wrap it around you and keep you in it forever. And in a sense, we try. We love you. Now life will move on to a *different* normal than before.

Christina said...

I'm glad you've had such good support. I continue to think of you and pray for your family. What a blessing that you will soon bring your son Vu home... I pray that he will bring some healing to your hearts and with him may you find a new "normal" in the months to come.