Thursday, July 31, 2008

I Blog Therefore I Am . . . A Bad Mother???

This is my 300th blog! Three Hundredth!!! I wondered if I should blog about Vu or Joe or about my 300 most embarrassing moments or simply let 300 come without blogging about anything in particular.

But, since some (including me) may be surprised I spend so much time blogging, I thought I should share a recent conversation.

I was volunteering at school working on a project with other moms when a conversation came up about blogging. Here's a synopsis of the conversation between "Good Mom" and "Bad Mom."

Good Mom: My sister is one of those bloggers who spends all her time on the computer. She's addicted!

Bad Mom: Oh really? I like to blog, it's a great outlet.

Good mom: You do??? But do you, like, read other blogs and do your own blog and put pictures on and stuff?

Bad Mom: Well, yeah, but the pictures are a great way for extended family members to keep up with us and they love seeing the kids.

Good Mom: But don't you have a TON of kids?

Bad Mom, laughing: Yeah, they're my fodder for my posts and pictures!

Good Mom: But wouldn't you rather spend your time WITH your kids and not just writing about them?

Bad Mom: Ouch!

"Ouch" was all I could think to say.

Of course, I eventually recovered and explained to Good Mom that I spend a TON of time with my TON of kids. I tried to tell her that writing is a creative outlet for me, an oasis that helps me through the good and bad. It's family history and writing actually makes me a better mother!

She stared at me, unconvinced so I went on to explain that I often blog when my kids are in bed or at school.

At this point, I could see my explanations were for naught. This mom obviously had already pegged me into the "bad mom" category and there was no way out.

As I left the school I couldn't seem to shake what the other mom had said and for the next couple of hours I explained myself away to myself. Fart on that old lady! I don't watch TV, I don't shop (unless it's life or death--grocery store yes, mall no), I don't talk on the phone and I'm relatively good at organizing my time including time with my ton of kids.

So why was I bothered? Because I knew she had a point. Computers can eat up time like a time machine. Was I wasting mine?

Before my blogging days I used to spend free time journaling and scrapbooking. I also used to read more and those things seemed to be on the "mom approved" list. Since blogging combines all three it should be a go, right?

After mulling it over I realized the time I spend blogging is time well spent. I don't regret the time it takes from other important things like scrubbing grass stains out of underpants. I DO wish I had more time to write a post, ponder and then re-write it, but I usually type at cyber speed and barely take the time to spell check! So much to blog about, so little time!

I finally realized the problem was not the blogging. It's easy for me to get on the computer to simply shoot an e-mail and get caught up in cyberland and an hour later look at the clock in shock . . . not blogging but just puttering away. I like reading other families blogs and being part of adoption/parenting forums. I had to ask myself exactly how much time I wanted to use for those purposes and honestly, the answer was--less. My kids weren't suffering but my garage was.

I took a look at the many blogs I had saved in my "Favorites" and weeded out most of them. Of course I didn't cut yours. My ax chop came after asking myself two questions: 1.) If I had a chance to meet this person, would I? 2.) Does their writing improve my life?

I also unsubscribed to everything from Old Navy ads to forums I really enjoyed.
I set the timer when getting on e-mail. It keeps me focused.

I keep a small notepad by the computer and instead of getting on every time I need to e-mail someone (I don't like the phone, remember?), I write it down for my specific computer times. It is too easy for me to head off into my favs once I get on.

I only allow myself certain times during the day to get on, not just for blogging but for any computer time.

Even tho that Fart Face Good Mom made me mad, I'm glad she helped me really look at how I was spending my time on the computer. So while my i-won't-even-take-the-time-to-use-capitals e-mails really stink these days, I'll still be bloggin' away for a long time to come!

Hear, hear! To the next 300!


4dogs said...

Good Mom sounds like a boring sour-puss to me!!! Give her a "ton" of kids and she'd probably find a thing or two to blog about too! Heck, I've only got one and have things to say! I'm SURE I'm still in your favorites, right?!? ;-)

It's Absolutely Us. said...

I'm sorry...but you do not blog enough!! Guess I'm under the bad mom list too because I am a daily visitor to your blog, waiting to read your wit and thoughts on life and parenthood. Keep it up!

Ann said...

4 dogs--of course you're in my favs! People look at me like I'm crazy with my passel of kids. I think you're crazy to have so many big hairy dogs! You inspire me--I only have to sweep up after one hairy dog!

And It's absolutely . . . you know I love you! Tattoo post coming soon!

As for Sour Puss Good Mom. All I can say is SHE IS NOT INVITED TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY!

Annette said...

I absolutely love your blog!! I am also a daily reader...although this is the first time I'm posting a comment. Don't stop blogging, it's good for the soul. :-)

maxhelcal said...


Don't you dare stop your blogging! I so enjoy your blog. You are fun! I just love that about you! I think we all need an outlet and blogging gives us one.

ps~ I do ALL my shopping online except grocery and Lowes (for paint of course, haha).

I think the internet actually saves us busy moms time with which we can use to BLOG! :-) I hear you about the spell checking too....I am so bad with that.


Ps- I hope you didn't delete me! I'm not so interesting but I do post lots of pics! LOL

sandwichinwi said...

I'm guessing you'll be safe, but...

...I hope she doesn't read your blog!


PS Ditto to what someone else don't blog enough. MORE blog, please!

Ann said...

Thanks for all the encouragement friends! And of course, I have not deleted a single one of you from my favs! I don't comment on them much--you know, that whole time management thing--but I love keeping up with all my special cyber friends :-)