Saturday, September 27, 2008

Where's The Remote?

I'm feeling so maternal today. SO maternal.

You know the movie Click? The guy has a remote control and can fast forward through life. The show actually has a good message but it's lost on me today.

You see, today I just keep imagining that I have that remote but instead of fast forwarding, I would just press "pause." For a very long time.

Do you know what I would do during that very, very long pause? I would sleep. I would go to Starbucks. I would go to the bookstore and peruse. How often does a mom get to peruse?

I'd eat Chex Mix and veggie pizza and drink Coke and eat dark chocolate--Godiva chocolate--and I wouldn't share with anyone. Then I would go workout and run on the treadmill while watching CNN plus all episodes of Grey's Anatomy THEN go sit in the hot tub (I'm at a club in this part of the dream--go with it). I'd get a massage then talk to my trainer (still at my imaginary club--keep up!).

I would go home, lay in the hammock and read something I really, truly wanted to read (which, at this point, would NOT include anything about adoption, attachment, parenting, marriage, grief, homeschooling OR remodeling) while listening to The Beatles, Queen, and my most awesome praise and worship CDs.

I'd watch the movie Little Women with two of my best friends: popcorn and hot chocolate. I wouldn't share. Then, I would take a very long nap.

And, of course, when I got up I would blog a whole, whole bunch.

And I would probably even clean the closets and garage and cars! For that matter, I'd clean the whole ding-dong house! AND rearrange the pantry, catch up on four years of scrapbooking, write in everyone's journal! Whew!

Then I'd do everything all over again--except the cleaning part because it would all still be clean because everyone would be paused, remember?

And then, maybe, just maybe, I'd finally miss all the little poop-heads and free them from their motionless silence.

THEN, they would all wonder how I went from being in such a bad mood to being in such a good mood in a matter of seconds!


Alex and Riann said...

If you find out how to hit that "pause" button, let me know. My fantasy/imaginary world sounds so very similar to yours. In fact, I felt relaxed just reading your post...until the baby wiped PBJ hands all over herself, little brother wiped PBJ all over the kitchen and big brother said, "I'm still hungry, Mom!"

Christina said...

Hey, I want that remote too! That sounds like an amazingly good fantasy life to me!!

Party of Seven said...

YOu crack me up!!! I have had that dream many times in the last few months!! I actually got to leave the house for 4 hours by myself for the first time since we have been back from China!! I came back a new mommy and it felt great!!

B said...

That sounds just like my weekend!

Are you trying to say that might end when I travel to pick up my sweet Benjaminh?

Can't wait!