Friday, December 12, 2008

Why I am not asking Santa for wrinkle cream

We finished remodeling the second bathroom. It now looks beautiful but it did cost a few more stress wrinkles as it was much more complicated than the first bathroom. Luckily, when cleaning out the drawers I found a tube of Retin A.

Did I get this prescription from my plastic surgeon in Hollywood? No, I did not. My mom brought it back from one of her trips to Mexico wherein I promptly put it in the bottom drawer and forgot about it. Who needed that stuff?

But when it was unearthed this time, I decided that I needed that stuff! I began to apply it liberally every night. After several days, I noticed that my face was sore and starting to peel. Peel as in, peel away, as in, looking like I had been to Mexico myself.

No problem! Just a little peeling, right? Must be how the wrinkles disappear! Never mind the fact my daughter informed me I had a bad case of dandruff--on my FACE! Never mind the fact that I now had red, as in VERY red areas all around my eyes which soon got so sore and peely that my wrinkles were not just wrinkles they were cracks!

Let me tell you, eye cracks look much worse than eye wrinkles. I was looking especially beautiful!

I am sure you are all relieved to know the cracks healed quickly but THEN I noticed a red lump raising up. Now, I've watched enough Grey's Anatomy to know I was probably getting a staph infection--no doubt MRSA! I was probably going to need to have part of my face amputated!

Luckily, all I needed was some antibiotic treatment and a weekend with a heating pad on my face. FUN! (And actually, it really was kind of fun to stay in bed and watch movies and read books and make Eric buy me junk food.)

So now, the wrinkles look much better. They really aren't noticeable at all. But then maybe, just maybe, they look good compared to that big, HUGE, purple lump still remaining on my face.

I have decided to put the Retin A back in the bottom drawer.

No comments: