Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Will Her Name Be Rose?

Guess what question we are asked most frequently regarding our latest adoption?

You can guess, right?

"ANOTHER KID???  ARE YOU CRAZY!!???"


No, that's not it.  According to my baby sister people no longer ask that question because they've all figured out, at least three kids ago, that the answer must be yes!

The most frequent question is what we will name our new daughter.  And honestly, it's been a very frequent discussion around our house too.  Our other adopted children have all been given an American first name and then we kept their birth name for their middle. 

There is a lot of debate in adoption circles about names and whether adoptive parents should (or shouldn't) change a child's given name.  It was a decision we made easily with Kim and Paul--not so easily with Vu, because he was nearly six when we adopted him.  We considered keeping his Vietnamese name, but in the end kept it only as his middle, in part due to several immigrant Vietnamese friends (especially the men) insisting we give him an American first name.

At this point, I need to stop and note that this post is not intended to start a debate on names for adopted children.  I don't believe there are any absolutes--only right answers for each family and each child and this post is about finding the right name for Rose.

Vu quite easily transitioned to his American name, although for a long time we called him by his full name, which included both his American and Vietnamese name.  He loves his American name!  And he loves his Vietnamese name, which we still affectionately call him.  We also refer to Kim and Paul by their Korean names. 

But with Rose??   Remember, Rose is only her blog name, not her Chinese name.  She will be almost 12 by the time she comes home.  Somehow, for us, it didn't feel quite right to give her an American name--at least not without her input.  What if she didn't like it?  What if she couldn't even pronounce it?  Twelve-year-old girls are very opinionated about names.

Should we keep her Chinese name?  But if so, will she feel different because all the other children in the family have American names?  And her Chinese name is not pronounced the way it's spelled.  In fact, we are not even certain how to pronounce it, because we have heard various pronunciations. 

This naming matter is complicated by the fact that our other adopted children had all their in-country paperwork completed in their birth name--we didn't have a choice.  Their names weren't officially changed until they were adopted in the US, months after bringing them home, months after being able to make final decisions. 

In China, we have to give Rose her American name now, and it will appear on all her Chinese adoption paperwork and on her US Certificate of Citizenship (COC).  We can change it again, if desired, when we adopt her in the US--but would also need to change her COC.  So complicated!  And expensive!

Well, this was the week we had to decide what her American name would be. 

Wanna know what we decided?  Should I keep you all in suspense??  I DO NOT like it when other bloggers play guessing games with readers.

But, now I can see that it would be kind of fun to have everyone guess what we named her! 

Did we keep her Chinese name?  For her first name?  Or, did we only keep it for her middle name and give her an American first name?  If so, what was that name?  Rose?  Anna?  Something else?

I have been wanting to name a girl Anna Rose since before Patrick was born.  In fact, had either been girls, both Patrick and Vu were destined to be named, "Anna Rose."


Hmmm . . . maybe I do like these guessing games after all!

2 comments:

"Are These Kids All Yours?" said...

He he he- is this payback??? Hmmmm....he he he

Ok I think you did name her Anna because you wanted her to feel like she "fit in" with her new family. Knowing she could at any time choose to go by her middle name if she wanted to anyway. ????

By the way we have changed all of our kids' names- to Biblical names.....just started that way and we kept going. Of course our oldest we adopted was 6? It is harder when they are older to know what is best?

Hank said...

So excited to see you all adopting again! Hopefully one day we can as well too, if Vietnam re-opens. That is where God is telling us to go....