Friday, November 12, 2010

The Scene Where The Policeman Says A Bad Word

Lizzy recently celebrated homecoming in full style! 

She had a beautiful LBD (I was also wearing my LBD for another function but I think mine is a BLBD (bigger little black dress!).

Lizzy also was sporting an amazing set of wheels for the event:

Yes, that is our 15-passenger van she is driving.  She decked it out in twinkle lights, window paint, decorations, and a vanload of teenagers!  It was quite a sight!

Apparently, a police officer thought so too.  If it was put in a movie-script it would read like this:

Scene at the bowling alley:  Several teenagers sitting in a monster van sporting twinkle lights.  The parking lot is nearly deserted, it is very dark, and it is just after midnight. 

A police officer sees the unusual vehicle and cruises slowly toward the vehicle, deciding to investigate.

Lizzy:  "Uh-oh!  Guys!  Here comes a policeman!  What do I do?  What do you think he wants?"

Dumb Kid in van:  "Just drive away."

Lizzy:  "No!  He'll think we're trying to hide something!"

All the kids look towards the police cruiser as it inches closer.

Lizzy:  "Don't look!  It makes us look guilty!"

Smart Kid in van:  "Crap!  I think he's going to bust us for curfew!"

Wild Kid in Van:  "Uh-oh!  That's the same guy who busted me for speeding!"

Lizzy starts to break out a sweat even tho her homecoming dress is lacking (according to her father) nearly enough coverage to cause her to sweat.

Officer pulls up to the van with his window facing Lizzy's.  Officer rolls down his window.  Lizzy nervously rolls down her window.  Lizzy is ready to pee her pants but puts on her cool, calm, collected look.

Officer (craning his neck to see into the van):  "So, what are you kids up to?"

Lizzy (in an overly friendly manner, putting on her best smile):  "Oh, Hi Officer!  We're just out for homecoming!  We just got a snack at the bowling alley and are heading home!"

Officer (looking down the length of the van):  "Oh!  So, WOW!  I knew kids rented limos these days, but I didn't know the new thing was to rent a VAN!"

Lizzy (a little surprised but as cool as a cucumber):  "Oh no Officer, I didn't rent this--THIS IS MINE!"

Officer (looking SUPER confused).  Long pause: "This is YOURS?"

Lizzy, preparing to clarify that it actually belongs to her parents, but before she can do so--

Officer,with a look of shock, looking down the length of the van again, and then loudly exclaiming: "NO SH*T!!!???"

Lizzy, not sure what one is supposed to say when a policeman swears.

Lizzy finally eeks out: "The van is my parents.  (long pause with officer laughing)  We have a lot of kids!"

Officer:  "Well I guess so!  Wow!  Just WOW!"

He starts laughing hysterically and finally recovers enough to shake his head and say, "Well, okay!  Ha-ha-ha!  You kids have a good time!" 

Good times people!  Good times!


thecurryseven said...

Great... now my 17 yo is going to want to put twinkle lights on our van!

And you really need some kind of warning on your posts. You know, along the lines of don't drink coffee and read this at the same time. I know I should have clued in when I read the title, but was completely unprepared when he said the actual bad word. I had to read it several times to be sure I was reading it right!


Alex and Riann said...

Amen to "e"! Laughter and the morning's hot mocha = not a great combination in front of the computer! You are so fun, Ann...and your kids...TOO fun! Had a dream about you last night, that I ran into you in China. Very odd, since I haven't been planning on going to China?! Hmmm. It was nice to run into you though, and I even met Quinn! Rambling here, but just wanted to say thanks for the great start to my a.m.

Sally-Girl! said...

Cute story!!! I am trying to picture Lauren driving our van when we get it with such a good attitude. She is a little horrified right now with the idea of mom driving an airport shuttle around town as if it were merely a mini-van!

I think I will share the photo with her just to prove how cool we can be in a 15 passenger van!!!

And hey by the way what kind of vacuum did you end up with???