Sunday, January 9, 2011

Protecting Our Adopted Child

We are getting closer to having Rose in our arms!  We are currently waiting for our Article 5 and then TA and we hope to be in China late Feb/early March.  How COOL is that?!!  Lots of smiles here!

Some of you may have noticed I still haven't posted Rose's picture--which I said I would do once she knows we are her family.  She knows.  And she has written us a letter and sent us some artwork.  She says she is excited to be adopted and her artwork is amazing.  How precious is that?!

And yet, I still have not posted her picture.  And I don't know why.  She is so beautiful and sweet, I can't wait to show you her incredible smile!  It's one of those smiles that makes everyone else smile. 

And yet, there is something that tells me to wait.  Maybe because she's older?  Maybe because I feel even more concerned about protecting my children's privacy as the world becomes ever more public? 

Our first social worker talked to us at length about privacy.  She was adopted herself, and she felt strongly that our adopted children should own their personal adoption stories.  Our children deserve to have privacy regarding how and why they came to be adopted.  When they are old enough, they can share their life story with whomever they choose--but it is THEIR choice, because it is THEIR story.  We have taken that advice to heart, sharing only minimal details with most people. 

Honestly, I am sometimes shocked at the details I read on some blogs.  Every part of their child's birth and relinquishment history is shared.  It just makes me cringe a little as I wonder what their adopted child will think someday when they are a teenager and realize that so much of their personal information was put out for all to see.  Regardless of what the situation was, abandonment/relinquishment is always a time of profound loss and grief--not just on that day, but forever.  And that makes it private.  And that makes it worthy of protection.  Ya know? 

And so, I think that may be why I'm reserved to share Rose's picture.  I want to preserve her privacy.  She still feels very far away and vulnerable and I want to protect her in every way I can.   

Once she's in our arms, then I will joyfully share that beautiful smile with all of you.  Until then, rejoice with us in the fact that we'll be leaving for China in just a few short WEEKS!  I seriously cannot believe the time has almost come!  SWEET NIBLETS!


Sandra & Steve said...

Belated congrats on your son's wedding! Am dying to see pics of your Rose but completely understand. So happy to hear you'll be traveling soon. Our process has been longer than anticipated, we hope to finally travel in March for our daughter in Taiwan. Completely understand and share re: privacy, people with no ill intent do tend to ask about details it is our duty and privilege to preserve for our children. With my first, in our arms as an infant I oftern found myself caught off guard and saying too much, I learned early on and now with #2 who is older, to simply refrain. Even though I am excited and think of it as part of my history because they are now my children, there is a line not to be crossed for their sake. Nicely stated. Congrats too on soon meeting your newest daughter, look forward to seeing her beautiful face!

Annette said...

Yeah! I am so excited that you guys are getting so close! We can't wait to hear that you have TA!!!

I understand and totally agree with the privacy. As you know, we made the decision recently to set our blog private. While there aren't as many people reading our blog now, we feel so much better knowing that we know who is reading about our daily lives.