Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Valentine's Day Shouldn't Include A Shop Vac

I certainly know how to romance my husband!  I bet you can't wait to find out how I romanced him with a shop vac!  You pervs! 

So, I'll tell you.  It all started Valentine's morning.  I set the mood by coming down with a bad case of pink eye.  Nothing like a swollen, red, goopy eye to romance a man!

Hubby came through much better than me with his dinner-plate sized Valentine's cookies that he makes every year for me and for each child.  And yes, this year he made one for Rose too, which is now safely stashed away in the freezer, waiting for her when she comes home. 

He gave me this funny card and tons of chocolate.  My sweet Honey!

So, the pressure was on for me to come through with a romantic evening!  Luckily, my eye was feeling better!

I made our traditional red-foods Valentine's Day dinner.  Spaghetti with red sauce, red apples, red jello, and yummy, red-pink, homemade bread.  Delicious! 

Then, I put all the kids to bed--early.  Patrick even went to bed extra early because he said he was so tired!  He is often the last one to fall asleep, so this was truly a miracle.  A sure sign that cupid was working overtime with the help of the sandman--romantic evening was lookin' good!

With all the kids tucked in, Hubby and I cuddled up on the couch, ready to watch the movie The Notebook.  Romance was lookin' very good!

Just as hubby pops in the DVD I hear crying upstairs.  I think it must be Vu having a nightmare.

So I go upstairs to guide him back to bed and part way up the stairs I smell the most HORRID smell in the world.  HORRID!  BEYOND HORRID!!!! 

And then, I see that Vu is still sleeping, but Patrick is up.  And Patrick is sick.

Remember all those RED foods we had for our Valentine's feast?  They are now nicely displayed blender-style RED on the white carpet in his bedroom.  Definitely NOT romantic!

Oh, but it gets better.  Poor Patrick has other . . .  ummmm . . . gastro-intestinal . . . issues.  And those issues are now also all over the carpet.  Definitely, definitely NOT romantic!

I really cannot describe the war-zone I witnessed, but let me just say this.  In my 28 years as a parent, this mess takes the cake--or should I say the toilet?  Bad, bad, bad!  Beyond bad.  REALLY bad.

And I think I said this once, but I have to say it again.  We have white carpet.  White.

I won't go into ALL the details, but let's just say that after showers, loads of laundry, and multiple rounds of the carpet cleaner there was still more work to be done.  At one point we gave up on the carpet cleaner and pulled out the shop vac.  It will forever now be known as the poop vac.  Definitely, definitely, definitely NOT romantic.  And for the record, it was equal-opportunity trauma. Hubby did not get to play the part of the husband on the Valentine's Day card above. 

The Notebook was forgotten.  Patrick and I ended up sleeping downstairs on the couch (where only hardwood floors exist) while Hubby slept upstairs, trying to recover from his psychological damage with the shop vac. 

As for the tradition of red foods on Valentine's Day?  I'm not sure that tradition will endure.


Anonymous said...

now that? its true romance...hubs helping with an epic mess. You will remember this valentines day for eternity - imagine the fun finding cards that hint at the shenanigans at your house?

hope your son is feelng better. next time he wants to go to bed early, lay a huge towel down next to him!!

thecurryseven said...

Oh no!!! That makes our incident with K. and too many red christmas cookie decorations on the white couch pale in comparison.

Hope it stays away from everyone else.


"Are These Kids All Yours?" said...

I don't know if there are any words........ :(

"Are These Kids All Yours?" said...

I don't know if there are any words........ :(

Anonymous said...

Oh,this is so funny, when it doesn't involve us. You could have been on the radio talk show that we listened to while we crossed New Mexico heading to Texas. Everyone gave their horror stories of Valentine's day of why they dislike this commercialized event with every husband and wife telling their tale.

4dogs said...

Wow. All I can say is thanks for not posting pictures! Hope he's feeling better and nobody else got sick...and if they did, hopefully they made it to the bathroom!