Sunday, April 17, 2011


The last couple of days I've had a growing sense of feeling . . . well, I can't quite put my finger on it. 

Unorganized?  Yes.  Adopting a child always throws any sense of organization out the window.  And there is so much that is begging to be organized in terms of schedules, to-do lists, appointments, school work, and even closets.  But it's more than just feeling unorganized.   

Irritated?  Yes.  And yet no.  I would call it more like claustrophobic since Rose has taken to becoming my Velcro child who wants to be near me every second.  I love that she wants to be with me so much, is bonding well, but I do have to admit I miss my previous amount of "bubble space."  And yet it's more than that.

Stressed?  Yes.  And yet again, not stress I can put my finger on.  There is the stress of having a child who cannot speak English and needs to have everything translated, charaded, explained.  For that matter, there's the stress of just having 40,000 children--even if they DO speak English.  There is the stress of having Hubby out of town and the stress of what I call "re-entry"--coming back from overseas and getting into the swing of real life.  And coming home I always have a new eye for all the things that need to be accomplished around the house and yard. And yet, I don't really feel overly stressed. 

I think it's just a combination of all the above.  The only word I can think of to describe it is, I feel discombobulated.  And on top of it, I'm not really sure how to go about becoming un-discombobulated.  But I want to become un-discombobulated.

Then, I would just feel combobulated.  Which, I think is a good thing (perhaps a trip to is in order, just to make sure I know what I'm not saying some terrible swear word?). 

So, this week, I'm going to see if I can find a sense of combobulation.  Even if I don't know how.

1 comment:

OneThankfulMom said...

The very fact that you could think clearly enough to put this into words is impressive. I'm saying a prayer for you tonight.