Friday, December 30, 2011

Carpe Diem

My birthday is bittersweet.

For those who are new, Joe was born on my 21st birthday--the best birthday gift ever!  And for 21 years we celebrated the day together.


But after we lost Joe, my birthday became a day of heart wrenching memories and emptiness.  The flashback of previous parties brought back all the laughter of Joe--and all the bitterness of loss.  I usually opted to skip my birthday--or at least celebrate on a different day.

But this year was different.  Maybe because more years have passed.  Maybe because I've worked through more grief this year.  Maybe because I really do know that Joe would want me to still celebrate--for both of us. 

And it's still sad.  It always will be.  But so is every day.

But it's also happy.  I had all the other kids home.  That's the best gift of all.


We went out to eat.





It was a big crew of special people.


Including my parents.


And then we went to an arcade.




Because Joe would have loved that.




And everyone had a blast.




And then I cried all the way home.  And I let myself cry.  Because I've learned to allow that of myself.

And then we filled the evening watching movies, reading books, making cookies, doing puzzles, and enjoying each precious moment with one another. 



Because Joe would have loved that.

Carpe Diem.  Seize the day.

3 comments:

Anna said...

what a beautiful day. I am so glad you were able to laugh and allow yourself room to cry as well. Happy birthday.

Anonymous said...

LOVE THE FAMILY PICTURE IN THE OREGON STATE UNIVERSITY PAJAMAS. ALSO LOVE THAT THE COLLEGE IN MY CITY THE UNIVERSITY OF OREGON DUCKS ARE GOING TO THE ROSE BOWL..



GO DUCKS

ERIKA

HAPPY 2012

Anonymous said...

O, my Sweet Friend. I understand a little. Prayers and a Happy Birthday salute to both of you. I wonder if he had a party too? I hear heaven is BIG on parties.
P.S. I am so sorry that I didn't remember to tell you happy birthday. What can I say except my mind is going? Coll