Thursday, April 5, 2012

Attachment: The One Foot Rule

Oh me, oh my!  Where does the time go?  We are buckling down into full attachment mode here--Mei Mei is doing well--still very attached to her daddy and making small steps with me every day. 

One of our key strategies is to use the "one-foot-rule" (which we actually change to a "same-room-rule").  I don't remember who came up with the original attachment rule/suggestion of keeping a newly adopted toddler right next to the parent?  Was it Deborah Gray? 

Anyhoo, we have found great success in keeping our newly adopted child near us, as much as possible.  This means staying in the same room as our child and sitting near; interacting frequently, playing and talking.  It means finding ways to physically touch, whether it be actual cuddling, reading books, or painting nails.  It means taking our child with us on every outing and errand, even if there is an older teen available to babysit.  It means spending almost every waking moment together.  It means co-sleeping at night, or, for older kids like Mei Mei, laying down next to them as they drift off to sleep and being available in the night for a bad dream. 

It means work.  Work and time.  Lots of it. 

It means not being able to get all the housework done.  Or laundry.  Or blog posts.

But we have found such a blessing in this mode of attachment parenting!  Mei Mei has some big challenges (which I will blog about soon), so it is wonderful to see her attaching so well. 

Mei Mei is already learning several English words and phrases including, "Oh my gosh!!!"--which she uses frequently!  She also loves to sort anything (maybe I can create an interest in socks?), and she ADORES playing with stuffed animals.  She also spends at least an hour a day looking at family photo albums.  She is curious and sweet. 

We are all lovin' our sweet little Mei Mei!


Nancy said...

I'm so glad I had a chance to meet her! And you of course. She met the world with such enthusiasm! She looks beautiful!

Anna said...


Stevens Family said...

Awe, what a great update :) She seems like such a sweet girl. So glad attachment is really coming along.

Lisa said...

Love reading that! Sure sounds like Mei Mei is doing great and fitting right in!!! So happy for your family:)