Monday, June 10, 2013

I Promise Not To Tell How You Got That Man Wound!

Happy Birthday to my favorite husband!

You are loved!  Thank you for all your support and hard work and love!  Thank you for your passion for life and never-ending commitment. You amaze me!


And I want to let you know that I'm sorry for all the times I've laughed inappropriately. Seriously. Like, let's take that owie you have on the side of your head right now.

Yea.  I know.  It wasn't funny.  Except that it was.  I'm sorry I laughed in your moment of glory agony.  I won't share the story.  I promise.

Except maybe I should because it really was funny.  Not the bleeding-like-a-stuck-pig-part.  Just the part about you walking the dog and him pooping a very wet poop in the neighbor's yard and you picking it up (yuuuck!) and the bag breaking wet poop all over the neighbor's sidewalk and you coming back home, mad as a hornet, and flinging up the garage door (because the garage door opener broke on your birthday!) and while you were simultaneously holding the dog's leash and what was left of the wet-poop in the bag, the broken garage door ricocheted right back down onto your head! Your bald head!  Ouch! 

And then it got even worse when you went back down to the neighbor's with a bucket of hot water to clean their stinky-poop-sidewalk and you got STUNG BY A BEE!!!  Or maybe it was a hornet.

I shouldn't have laughed.  It wasn't funny.  Not really.

But FYI.  Poop on your hands, and a gash on your head, and a hornet stinger in your toe is not a good way to start your birthday. Just in case you were wondering.

And it wasn't funny.  Except that it was.  Kinda.  Tee-hee!  Ha-ha!  Not really.  No.  It wasn't.  You're right.

Ha!  Okay, yes, it was!

But seriously, I promise not to tell anyone how you got that man wound.  Or the swollen foot.  And I won't smell the neighbor's sidewalk.  Seriously.  Promise.

And next year I promise to walk the dog on your birthday.  Seriously.  Promise.

Happy Birthday!!!  I love you!  And you might want to wear that hat when you walk the dog. Actually, a hard hat might be even better!


Sally-Girl! said...

You are seriously funny'

kathy said...

Leave Clay alone. His Birthday this year is a BIG one! He might of been overly stressed! I did laugh though :}