Monday, August 24, 2015

Abusive, Destructive, Controlling Relationships--Part 4--What To Say To Victims

I'm winding up my series on destructive relationships.  If you need to catch up read
 
 
I've covered my reasons for sharing this topic, the warning signs, and some facts.  As we've discussed, it can be very difficult for a victim to leave his/her abuser. There's an excellent paper written by Dr. Sarah Buel, a lawyer and activist against domestic violence.  Her paper is titled 50 Obstacles to Leaving aka Why Abuse Victims Stay
 
If you know someone who is in a destructive relationship please talk to them about it--even though it can be hard to know what to say.   
 
Sometimes the best thing to say is something simple.  Here's some ideas from Sarah Buel:
  1. "I'm afraid for your safety."
  2. "I'm afraid for the safety of your children."
  3. "It will only get worse."
  4. "I'm here for you."
  5. "You don't deserve to be abused."

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