Monday, January 2, 2017

Someday I Will Just Burst Into Dust

Tonight we lit our advent candles for the last time.

If you know me, you know I'm kicking and screaming the whole way!  We had a GREAT vacation, relaxing, and being with family and friends.  Now it's time to regroup and reorganize.  I'll admit I'm just a bit excited to FINALLY use this Victorian planner.  I bought it several years ago on a trip to Salvation Army with my mother-in-law.  I think I paid 50 cents, but the calendar hasn't matched up to the dates until 2017.

My life is too full.  I wish there were more hours in the day and I've considered what I can cut out, but I always come to the same conclusions.  I remind myself this is a season, albeit very full with everything including work, family, and LIFE.  Lan Lan is still homeschooled part-time and other kids need extra support.  Hubby has a new job and he travels part of every week.  We still have speech and therapy and orthodontist and all-the-regular appointments.  I'm blessed to babysit my grandson 1-2 days a week, which I ADORE, but it makes the squeeze tighter.   

Work is a huge time commitment, and yet I love what I do.  I'm lucky in that I have flexibility in my hours, but that can also be my downfall as I often bring work home, especially when due dates loom. Even going on vacation isn't easy--last summer as we were walking out the door I grabbed my work computer "just in case" I had some free time.  One of my kids caught me and shamed me into leaving it home.  

It's so hard to find balance, and honestly, it's impossible.  I try to be intentional in dividing my time, taking on new commitments, and digging up all my time management tricks.  I'm REALLY trying to just be present more, focusing on the priority right in front of me--which is often a person.  And ultimately, we make choices in how we spend our time--there's no such thing as not having time for what we deem our highest priority.

But really, what I know, is that in the end I just want to keep living life, full steam ahead, loving every day, and keeping positive relationships in the forefront of my days.  

I recently saw this awesome quote:  

"When I'm taking my last breath, I want to look at how I used up the best of myself.  How much did I sweat, push, pull, rip, fall, hit, crash, explode? . . . My dream is to be so well used that in my last half-second, I just burst into dust."    ~  Elizabeth Streb

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