Thursday, December 15, 2016

Life Before Adoption

Our adopted kids had a life before our family, which thankfully included people they loved.  It is so important to keep those connections strong, even though it can be difficult.  Not only is the relationship important, but having someone else who SHARES and REALLY KNOWS what life was like is a comfort for my children--both the positive and negative realities of life before adoption.

There were many blessed and beautiful times together in 2016 with foster siblings, orphanage friends, and crib mates.  My hope is that we will continue to find more connections in the coming year.  A friend is planning a big reunion of Guangzhou kids next year which is sure to be filled with the gamut of emotions.  

Some of the beautiful memories from 2016 included Vu having a reunion with one of his "babies" from the Vietnamese orphanage, getting together with Vu's good friend C, and Lan Lan meeting up with her foster sister and friends from China.  

Sadly, Mei Mei doesn't have many connections from China.  We keep in touch with people from our travel group and the social workers associated with our adoption, but we haven't been able to find any children she grew up with.

The reality of having several children who joined our family through adoption is that there is heartache in the loss of not having solid history.  Some of our kids have no baby pictures, no knowledge of the circumstances surrounding their relinquishment and birth family, no way to find their birth parents should they desire. Every time we go back to a birth country we try to get more information--sometimes we are successful and even the tiniest bit helps, but the grief remains. Adoption is born out of loss, and the loss is profound.

And that makes keeping those connections to pre-adoption loved ones even more important.

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