CRAZY FOR KIDS

Extra-Curricular

2012-01-28T21:56:00.000-08:00

At times it takes Mr. Franklin Covey himself to keep track of all the extra-curricular activities.

But now? Right now?

It is actually quite simple.

Just think one word. One sport.

Basketball.

Here's our calendar for the week:

Saturday:

Sunday:

Monday:

Tuesday:

Wednesday:

Thursday:

Friday:

It's a good thing I believe that team sports are an integral part of life.

and it's a REALLY good thing that basketball is my favorite sport!

Posts and Painting

2012-01-27T11:04:00.000-08:00

Elizabeth, one of my favorite bloggers over at Ordinary Time, has an excellent post on adoption and disruption.

Elizabeth and I are on the same time-line for our current adoptions, so we hope to meet up in China!

Today I am working on the great bedroom switch of 2012. It has gone from a simple bedroom swap to an all-out room redo. We are painting Kim's new room (Lizzy's old room). Goodbye brown! Hello beautiful blue!

And we are also painting Lizzy's old loft bed for Patrick.

You see, Patrick is getting Lizzy's bed, and Lizzy's taking over Patrick's bed; Kim is getting the bed from the guest room, Rose is switching to Kim's bed, and Rose's bed is being passed to Mei Mei.

Did you follow that? I'm not quite sure I did either.

P4#10 Video and Packing

2012-01-26T14:49:00.000-08:00

Since it's Chinese New Year, all the offices in China are closed, so we won't hear any major news this week.

We did hear that Mei Mei is doing well, and we hope to receive new pictures soon. We also sent her a video depicting a "day in the life" of our family.

I had the kids hold up time cards,

and then we would show her an activity for that time frame.

We showed our house, school, local stores, the library, and various activities. And we have the advantage of an in-house translator!

I hope it will give her a sense of security, knowing more about our family. I think about her constantly, and wonder what she's thinking.

On another note, I packed medicines and first-aid supplies to take to China. I made a list for our trip to Vietnam, which I simply go back to, then refresh the travel kit.

Little did I know how many times I would go back to that list!

Gong Hey Fat Choy! Chuc Mung Nam Moi!

2012-01-24T10:14:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! We welcomed the year of the dragon in full style!

I cooked up a delicious Vietnamese and Chinese feast! We had spring rolls, dumplings and potstickers; chow mein, orange and mandarin chicken. And fortune cookies of course! Yum!

Yep, it was a lot of work navigating my way through ~~all those complicated Chinese recipes~~ the Panda Express drive-up window!

For the record, I did actually get out of my car to buy the Vietnamese food.

The evening included red envelopes filled with money and chocolate coins,

reading our favorite books on Tet and Chinese New Year,

and eating moon cakes (white lotus seed and red bean)!

Happy New Year! The Year of the Dragon is said to be extra lucky! It will be! I can feel it!

Two Brothers Need A Home--The Dynamic Duo

2012-01-21T05:45:00.000-08:00

These two make me smile! I can only imagine the joy and excitement these boys will bring to a household! I am so glad they are being placed together. Boys are WONDERFUL!!!! Full of life, and joy, curiosity and LOVE!

Everyone who has met these boys wonders why they are still waiting--they are sweet, kindhearted, fun-loving, healthy, and "their teacher's favorites."

Please consider if these two boys belong in your family.

A Dynamic Duo, Still Waiting (from the Holt blog)

Shen Ying, 10, and Shen Jia, 9, grew up in the same foster family. We are seeking a family to adopt both of them. They are this week’s featured waiting children.

DOB: 8/1/01 and 3/3/02, Jilin, China
by Robin Munro, Senior Writer

Shen Ying (left) and Shen Jia (right) grew up together as foster brothers.

Two years ago, in November of 2009, we received the following email from Sue Liu, Holt’s (beloved) office manager in Beijing:

Two weeks ago, I went to Jilin (province) where we have had a foster care program for three years. I met three boys whose files are in the CCAA now… All their information has been released many times online, but, for some reason, they have not been matched. All these boys have very good personalities, they like to help others, like to share, like to go to school and get along well with other kids.

All three of the boys were older, and two of them – Shen Ying* and Shen Jia* – grew up together in the same foster home. About these two boys, Sue wrote:

I saw them at their foster home, and both of their foster parents were at home also. They are very close to their foster parents, especially their foster mom. They told me they just call their foster mom “Mom”, and foster dad “Dad”. Every day, after school, their foster mom stays with them and watches them finish their homework. Then they have dinner together. Then, they go walking. All the people think they are a family. Shen Jia and Shen Ying are very good friends, and they call each other “brother.” They are good at math. Like all the boys, they love to play with cars and so one.

At the end of her email, she wrote that she would visit them again soon. She also asked us to help advocate for their adoption, writing, “I do hope we can find families for them, Please!!!”

In March, she wrote again, inquiring about our progress in finding families for these boys. No luck so far.

The following summer, in July of 2010, I traveled to Jilin province with Sue Liu and Jessica Palmer, Holt’s waiting child program manager. Here, we met Shen Ying and Shen Jia. In the months since Sue first wrote about the boys, she had visited them again several times, and they had grown very fond of each other. Upon seeing her, Shen Ying and Shen Jia – dressed exactly alike in matching striped Polo shirts – ran up to Sue and threw their arms around her. They then ran off to play with the other children in the room.

It was a sweet, sincere moment.

Although not biological brothers, the two boys resembled each other. A year apart in age – one 8, one 9 – they both had telltale scars on their upper lip from cleft lip and palate surgery. Both abandoned within days after they were born, they came to live at the same social welfare institute before joining the same foster family. They had a lot in common, and they grew up, as Sue said, calling each other “brother.”

During our visit, they showed distinct differences in their personalities as well. Although both friendly and exuberant, the older of the two – Shen Ying – seemed a bit more outgoing and expressive. He took more interest in us, and hammed it up, using the props at his disposal – a humongous stuffed bear, a scarf, a long tube – to make us laugh. The younger brother, Shen Jia, kept more to himself. In child reports, social workers describe Shen Jia as independent, “inner-directed,” disciplined and athletic. They describe Shen Ying as talkative, polite and “good at imitation.” Both boys are described as intelligent, quick learners and diligent, enthusiastic students.

Their foster mom, a warm, youthful woman with long, shiny black hair, also came along for the visit. She seemed proud of her foster sons, and shared with us that they are both their teachers’ favorites in their 2nd and 3rd grade classes. They are, she said, very popular with the other children, have excellent manners and help at home. They also sometimes fight “as brothers do.”

“Does he know anyone who’s been adopted?” Jessica asked Sue of Shen Ying, standing nearby.
Sue then turned the question to Shen Ying, who through translation told us that he loves his foster mother very much, but knows he may be adopted someday.
As we were about to leave, the brothers ran up to hug all of us goodbye – including Jessica and I. They seemed like such good-hearted, intelligent boys, and they left a strong impression on both of us.

A week later, we returned to Oregon and immediately stepped up our efforts to advocate for their adoption. We featured them in the Waiting Child photolisting and on the Holt blog.
But again, no luck. No family. A year passed, and the boys turned 9 and 10.
In December, Abbie Smith – Holt Director of Clinical Services – returned from a trip to China. While there, she also had the chance to visit Shen Ying and Shen Jia and assess their potential for adoption. She visited them at home, with their foster mother at their side.
Her impressions of the two boys reinforced our earlier impressions. She describes Shen Jia as more athletic and less emotionally expressive than his brother. “He acknowledged that his brother is better at relationships,” says Abbie. “He’s better at sports.” She says they seemed very close and accepting of each other, and both expressed the desire to join the same adoptive family.
When the topic of adoption came up, Shen Ying would tear up and briefly leave the room. He feels sad about leaving his foster mother. His brother, meanwhile, was less expressive in his feelings about leaving China, and seemed more resigned.
“Their foster mother wants to stay in touch with the boys after their adoption and it was clear that they want to stay in touch with her,” writes Abbie, who recommends finding a family who “can support their love for their foster mother while they are learning to love their forever family.”

I recently asked Jessica what she remembers about them. “I remember they were super sweet boys, active but not overly so, as active as you would guess for an 8-year-old boy,” she said. “I remember they played well with the other younger kids, and were very attached to their foster mom.”

Without a doubt, Shen Ying and Shen Jia have charmed all of us. They are sweethearts who deserve a family to love and support them in all their endeavors, throughout their lives. Two years after Sue first wrote that pleading email, they are “for some reason” — unknown to us — still waiting.
Who wouldn’t love to raise these boys?
Shen Ying and Shen Jia need a family who can provide them with access to a craniofacial team to follow-up with speech therapy and further surgeries they will most likely need. Their family should also have experience with adoption and parenting past their ages.
To learn more about Shen Ying and Shen Jia, contact Erin Mower at erinm@holtinternational.org.
* names changed

Still Advocating For Julie

2012-01-20T09:29:00.000-08:00

I am still advocating for "Julie." Such a precious little girl who will age out in November. Julie really wants a forever family.

Here is information that appeared on Holt's blog several months ago:

Waiting Child of the Week: Julie

Date of Birth: 11/15/98

by Robin Munro, senior writer

This summer, several of us at Holt traveled to China to meet children in the Journey of Hope – a program to propel adoption of older children, or children with special needs in southern China. Upon arrival, I joined Holt China staff and local caregivers for a traditional dinner in the province of Jiangsu. Across the table from us sat three children who, along with their caregivers, had journeyed a considerable distance to meet us. Two little boys in matching red shirts sat side by side, charming the visitors. And then there was *Julie.

Though shyly looking away, her eyes held a glow as bright and genuine as her smile. She giggled and chatted with her favorite caregiver – a young woman who also taught in the orphanage school. Clearly very attached to her caregiver, she also recognized Sue Liu – the sweet-faced manager of the Holt office in Beijing – and, once at ease, got up from the table to greet her. She gave her a big hug, and squeezed into her chair – this tall, slender, 11-year-old girl with a Mickey Mouse button on her yellow Crocs shoes. Awkwardly smooshed together, they sat like sisters – playful and laughing.

Julie’s assessment states that she often shows great kindness and easily builds attachments. That night in Jiangsu, Julie brought that description to vibrant, glowing life. She bounded down the hallways to greet orphanage directors and Holt staff, her long skinny legs sticking out of shorts – an outfit in which she seemed more comfortable than the frilly frock she wore for the official Journey of Hope camp the following day. And her hugs – warm and engrossing – landed spontaneous and often on their recipients.

Julie entered care as an infant and has lived in the orphanage ever since. Because of a medical condition that made it difficult to control her bodily functions, she entered school later than other children. When we met her this summer, she was in the third grade. In November, she turned 12. After receiving surgeries that corrected her condition, Julie became more confident and outgoing in school. She now loves playing games with her classmates, and she says she wants to be a teacher like her favorite caregiver.

Julie recites poems from memory, speaks a few English phrases and is eager to learn more in preparation for joining a family in the U.S. Though she struggles a bit in school, she responds well to encouragement and praise. She helps out with what she can, including caring for the younger children in the orphanage, and has many friends there.

At the Journey of Hope camp, as the children arrived ready to perform songs and dances for the visitors, Julie approached Sue with a big smile on her face and, in her hand, a woven pencil box… a gift she’d made for her. Once more, they hugged, giggling like sisters.

Help Julie, the Waiting Child of the Week, go viral! Forward this to friends and family. Share every week at church or a community group. And repost to your own blog, Facebook page and company site. With the simple press of a button, you can change Julie’s life forever!

Contact Holt’s Waiting Child program for more information about Julie.

*name changed

Updated information on Holt's Waiting Child Website.

$ Give It To Me In New, Unmarked, 100 Dollar Bills $

2012-01-19T16:19:00.000-08:00

I always wanted to say that!

Chinese New Year is quickly approaching and you know what that means? Red lanterns, dragons, firecrackers . . . AND . . .

the perfect time to order new bills from the bank. In fact, while most banks previously allowed customers to order new bills throughout the year, many banks now only allow it right before Chinese New Year.

When traveling abroad, banks are notorious for only accepting crisp, clean, and preferably new bills. Big bills. Like 50's and 100's. The exchange rate will go down (or be non-existant) for older looking bills.

For the record, we didn't have brand new bills the last time we went to China, but we did only take bills that looked new (although this took a few trips to the bank to keep exchanging). We primarily used travelers checks and credit cards.

A few thoughts on money in China and Vietnam--from our limited experiences.

We didn't exchange any $$ before going overseas
Airports offer exchange services, often with the best exchange rates
Hotels offer very good exchange rates--sometimes higher than banks
In Vietnam, you immediately become a millionaire-- $1~20,000 VND (dong)
In China-- $1~ 6.5 RMB (yuan--pronounced more like "yen")
In China, counterfeiting is rampant. Only exchange bills in banks, hotels, and airports
For fraud reasons, try to pay with bills requiring little cash back--otherwise you might receive counterfeit bills as change (in other words, don't pay for a pack of gum with a Y100RMB)
Chinese banks and hotels accept travelers checks (hotels more easily than banks--I suggest you avoid banks if possible as it can be quite the experience!)
In Vietnam travelers checks can be your worst nightmare (tho nice hotels usually accept)
Make sure you use a brand of travelers checks that is readily accepted (we used American Express)
In China, many establishments (even small stores) accept Visa/Mastercard (a percentage fee usually applies)
Credit cards less accepted in Vietnam
ATMs readily available in China--less so in Vietnam (fee usually applies)
In Vietnam, we found US $$ to be readily accepted in most establishments, restaurants, street vendors, taxis etc.
In China, we found the exact opposite--US bills were only for exchanging into RMB
Save some bills to keep as souvenirs--both countries have beautiful money!
Save a little bit of money for your wait in the airport pre-flight
At the end of your trip, if you have excess dong (Vietnam) or yuan (China), apply it towards your hotel bill--then pay the rest with credit card or travelers checks
Note: I said "excess dong" without laughing. Actually, that's a lie. I just laughed. Again.

P4#10--Prepare, Prepare!

2012-01-18T09:41:00.000-08:00

PREPARE is my new mantra!

Last week, those words kept coming to mind, and I also kept reading references to "40 days and nights." As I was out walking the dog, praying (walking the dog while praying is great--as long as you pray with your eyes open!), it occurred to me that it was possible we would BE in China in 40 days and nights.

Not probable. But possible. And with God, the impossible becomes uniquely probable!

Prepare! Prepare! Prepare our hearts to make room!

Not only have I started the to-do list--I've also thrown myself into 40 days of health through exercise, diet, and prayer.

And yesterday? Yesterday I packed Mei Mei's suitcase.

You would think that would be one of the last steps, but packing for my child is akin to getting out the bassinet while pregnant.

It makes it seem REAL!

And I LOVE walking by Mei Mei's suitcase, multiple times a day, knowing that we will soon have her here, with us, through the miracle of God's glorious redemption.

Prepare! Prepare!

What joy!

Happy Birthday Vu!

2012-01-16T22:37:00.000-08:00

I can't believe my sweet little boy is 10!

We celebrated with a monster party!

A monster party which included a monster pinata!

And a whole lotta Beyblades! Including a BIG Beyblade tournament!

A "design your own Beyblade" art project:

Twister,

And of course, lots and lots of cake and ice cream!

Vu is such a blessing! He is funny, curious, and soooo loving! He loves to sing and dance, play wall ball, tetherball, and basketball (and of course, Beyblades). He enjoys video games, read-a-loud books, ninja anything, Poke'mon, drawing, and going out to eat--anywhere. He loves to eat.

When he grows up, he wants to own a bowling alley. He has figured out that not only would he get free bowling, he would also get free video games and food.

Oh, and he wants to have 17 kids. He LOVES babies.

I'm thinking we'll have to hook him up with one of the Duggar girls for that!

Happy Birthday Vu! You are a JOY to behold! A precious gift from God!

CAUTION: Sending Gifts To Our Child Pre-Adoption

2012-01-13T10:57:00.000-08:00

Sending a small gift and/or photobook to a child before they come home has become nearly universal. It has also become quite common for parents to use an in-country service to send additional gifts.

But caution is needed.

And no, I'm not talking about the legalities of sending gifts. That's a whole topic in itself. The caution hits much closer to home--our child's heart.

It's exciting to pick out gifts for our child, when what we really want is to gift them with our presence--and a plane ticket home to forever. A photo album is incredibly important to help them begin to transition and prepare for adoption. A gift can give them a sense of belonging and love. Parents send small stuffed animals, toys, candy, hair clips, and other cool stuff--whatever they can fit in a manila envelope (the gift size most agencies allow--at least when adopting an older child).

But a gift can also bring pain.

How?

Unfortunately, I've learned it through my own children's experiences. And I've also learned through multiple other families experiences; which is what this post is all about.

Yes, a gift can make a child feel loved and special. It can be exciting for them to finally have a gift from someone--someone who LOVES them. It might be the first gift they have ever received. But, here are some questions to consider:

Will the gift cause jealousy amongst the other children in the orphanage or foster family? Will this jealousy manifest itself in harm to our child--not just at the time the gift is given, but later?
Even if it doesn't cause jealousy, will it cause emotional pain for the other children who may never get a family of their own--let alone a special gift?
Will the gifts suddenly disappear in the night? (Remember, there are multiple children in orphanages, sometimes older teens, multiple caregivers/foster parents living hand-to-mouth, and the blackmarket will pay enough on many small gifts to feed a family for a week.)
If the gift "disappears" how will my child feel?
Will the gift make my child feel guilty? Sad? Many children give their gifts away, because they feel sad for the other children without a family. Or they leave the gifts with their foster families, because they know they have so little. And yet, our child feels conflicted, because they really did want to keep their gifts.
How will our child feel if they have to leave the gifts behind on adoption day?
How will our child feel if they never receive a gift that we sent? How will we feel? Anger? Resentment? Frustration? Sometimes gifts don't make it to the intended child--for multiple reasons.

Knowing what I know now, I made gift selections carefully for our Mei Mei. I sent things that could be shared with a group, things that she wouldn't be sad to leave behind/give away. We even included a note saying in English and Chinese to share with friends. Not only does this avoid the jealousy/guilt issue, it also gives my child the chance to be the popular girl with the "goods" to share. It's a party for everyone!

Gift ideas and considerations:

Any item that can be shared with a group--stickers, coloring pages, games, a lullaby CD
Food that can be shared with a group--fruit leather, fruit snacks, dried squid, lollipops
Educational items like math flashcards, workbooks, crayons, a pack of mechanical pencils
Crafts, beads, friendship bracelet kit, set of blow-up balls or hacky sacks--again, think group
Shirt or outfit, which will most likely be saved for adoption day
Social stories can also be printed and sent (available on Holt's website --scroll down to the bottom of the page.)
Buy doubles of everything you send--one set to send, one to keep at home--then, if your child leaves the gifts behind, they will arrive home to all their "things."
Think in terms of institutional child safety, choking hazards, cultural difference, e.g.stuffed animals are not usually given to children for sanitation reasons.
A photo album; translated letter; homemade DVD showing family, home, community; art work from the other children in the home--the most important gifts!

Sending gifts to our children is a wonderful way to form a connection, but caution and consideration is needed. In the end, I just keep reminding myself that once we get our Mei Mei home, we can shower her with gifts--FOREVER! Especially the gift of LOVE!

Here is one gift we have waiting for our Mei Mei--OSU pajamas to match with the family! I sent her a picture!

P4#10--Hello Visas!

2012-01-12T09:28:00.000-08:00

Today our visas arrived! There is always a huge sense of relief when I put my hands back on our passports, knowing they are once again safe and secure in my possession.

To receive a visa, a person must send their US passport and visa application (and $$ of course) to the consulate (in the US) of the foreign country they will be visiting. In our case, our passports went to the Chinese Consulate in San Francisco. Last year, since we were visiting both Vietnam and China, our passports went to the consulates of both Vietnam and China. Not all countries require a visa for admittance.

A visa is simply a sticker placed within the passport pages, stating that permission has been granted to visit their country.

Last year we needed a complicated array of visas.

This trip only 3 people are traveling to 1 country (Rose, Hubby and I). Easy peezy!

One more step complete--visas? Check!

P4#10--Goodbye Guest Room

2012-01-11T14:54:00.000-08:00

Since we are getting so close to travel (give another holler!), I thought it would be fun to do a mini-series on our day-to-day preparations for Mei Mei and travel.

Get it. P4#10--Preparing for #10.

Go ahead. Tell me I'm the smartest, most creative, wittiest person you know. I will soak it right up!

Today our preparations include switching bedrooms! Let me tell ya, switching and swapping bedrooms is a common theme in any large family! (In fact, my two most popular posts have been about bedroom solutions--here and here.)

Currently, Rose and Kim share a bedroom.

Once Mei Mei comes home, she will take Kim's place, and Kim will take over Lizzy's bedroom--which is currently in a state of disarray as it prepares to head to the basement (not that it doesn't always look like this, but I'm attempting to protect the not-so-innocent).

And Lizzy? She is taking over the guest room.

Yes. I am sorry to report that our past guests will no longer have guest quarters. BUT, we still have space for you--no worries! We have beds galore and despite this fact, some of our children still prefer sleeping on the floor--go figure!

Our most recent guests were the last to receive the guest room honors. It seems fitting that it was our Mei Mei's namesake--my good friend R., her daughter and grandbaby. What a precious weekend we had baking, going to the waterfront, chatting long into the night, and cuddling, cuddling, cuddling the precious baby!

Back to the great room switch of 2012!

In Adoption News

2012-01-09T09:52:00.000-08:00

We finally have our I-800 approval and NVC pdf.

This means US immigration has given approval for our daughter to come to the US, and they have cabled the Consulate in China with the approval.

Do you hear hip-hip-hurrah? It was loud!

But listen carefully. You can probably also hear a BIG sigh of relief. When we filed our I-800 our paperwork came back. That is NOT something an adoptive parent wants to see. And then when it was resubmitted, it appeared lost in never, neverland (the lockbox) for a bit. That is NOT something an adoptive parent wants to consider.

BUT, we had a wonderful officer at USCIS (immigration) who helped us work everything out--it gives me renewed hope in government bureaucracy humanity.

I'm still praying we will travel end of Feb, tho March looks much more likely.

Today we are making a video for Mei Mei. We are showing her a typical "day in the life" of our family.

It's getting exciting!

2012--My Year of Jubilee

2012-01-04T13:54:00.000-08:00

This is going to be a really great year. I can just feel it.

It's my year of Sabbath--my sabbatical. It's my Year of Jubilee.

A few weeks ago I was talking to a friend about a coincidence. I have an extremely light workload/school load this year due to switching to the three-year MSW plan. There was also an error made by my advisor that made the workload even lighter.

This term I only have one class. One! And next term only two. No internship. No outside work. No homeschooling.

And did I mention I have the whole summer off???

The funny thing is, when all this all came down, I didn't know we would be adopting AGAIN this year. What perfect timing!

I laughed about the coincidence, but then my friend tilted her head, gave me a grin, winked, and said, "Are you sure it was just a coincidence? Sounds like a God-thing to me!"

I smiled, paused, and then declared her correct! Just to be a little bit of a tease I hollered out, "This must be my Year of Jubilee!"

I really didn't know much about the year of jubilee. But the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to learn.

In Leviticus 25 there is an explanation of the sabbath year and the year of jubilee.

Interestingly enough, I realized this is my seventh year of college. I started back full-time after watching the inspirational movie The Pursuit of Happyness; first finishing my bachelors, then going right into my MSW. Most of that time I was either doing daycare or working, so it's been busy. Having this quiet year is truly a sabbath.

Even more interesting, I discovered the Year of Jubilee occurs during the 49th/50th year (depending on how it's translated).

I just turned 49--so this is my 50th year of life.
.
This really is my Year of Jubilee.

I don't understand all that is written in the bible about the year of jubilee. There is a great deal of instruction about land ownings, loans, and the buying and selling of property. But there is also instruction on freeing slaves, returning to family, and taking a year off to regenerate and celebrate--I understand that part well!

After reading Leviticus 25, I am left with the knowledge that the year of jubilee was filled with hope, freedom, liberation, redemption, forgiveness, and LOVE. It was a year of resting. It was a year of using only what was needed and supplied, and sharing/giving back to the poor. It was a year of returning to family, having children come home, and rejoicing in relationships.

There is a nice explanation of jubilee here and I really enjoyed Joel Osteen's sermon on jubilee. I especially love how he ties in adopting a child in the year of jubilee.

I think of the words of Twila Paris singing Days of Elijah:

Behold He comes riding on the clouds,
Shining like the sun at the trumpet call,
Lift your voice it’s the year of jubilee,
And out of Zion’s hill salvation comes.

I lift my own voice. I sound the call. This is my Year of Jubilee.

"Consecrate the fiftieth year and proclaim liberty throughout the land to all its inhabitants. It shall be a jubilee for you; each one of you is to return to his family property and each to his own clan. The fiftieth year shall be a jubilee for you; do not sow and do not reap what grows itself or harvest the untended vines. For it is a jubilee and is to be holy for you; eat only what is taken directly from the fields."

~Leviticus 25:10-12

The Mystery Of The Missing Ham

2011-12-31T23:13:00.000-08:00

Before the Christmas season ends, I must share the story of the missing ham!

A few days before Christmas my sister and her family came to visit. It's always a cause for celebration when the relatives arrive!

And then we all went to their cabin in the woods, which is always a BLAST! Movie nights, the Cousin Spa, snow ball fights, and Twister!

Walks to the country store for hot chocolate and ice cream,

Marshmallow roasting, and just plain family fun!

I didn't blog about it because, even tho I was extra organized this Christmas, I had failed to complete one great big, very important project. One that took up every last second and wasn't completed until Christmas Eve--Rose's Christmas stocking!

Anyhoo, we bid farewell to my sister and all the cabin fun, and arrived home just before the Christmas festivities went into full gear.

I was going over the plans for Christmas dinner with my mom, and she said she would bring the ham. But I reminded her that she already had! The ham was out in my garage fridge.

"Oh," said my mom, sounding confused, "I guess I put it in there when we stopped by the other day!"

She even went on to ask my dad and he paused, then said he guessed they had put it there!

And then I began to question that I really had seen a ham out in my fridge, so I asked Hubby, and he said that yes, there was a ham out in our extra fridge.

Ham. Check.

Christmas day arrives. Early morning I go to get the ham.

No ham. Hubby double checks. No ham. My parents arrive. No ham. Because the ham was already at our house. Except that it wasn't. I look in every last fridge and freezer crevice! No ham!

Had the Grinch arrived in the night to steal our ham?

As we went through all the possibilities, it occurred to me that when I had seen the ham, I had also seen groceries my sister had purchased to take to their cabin.

Did my own sister ~~steal~~ accidentally take our ham?!?!

We decided to substitute roast. A small roast. A small, inexpensive, low-quality, still frozen roast.

And then we proceeded to ~~roast~~ call my sister. Did she have an extra ham? OUR ham?

Yes, my sister had a ham! ONE ham. We all laughed about it! My sister immediately began to panic! Caught in the act??? Of stealing our Christmas ham??

She began to think through her Costco shopping adventure. Yes, she did look at the hams. Yes, she did consider buying a ham, even tho she knew they already had a turkey for their Christmas dinner. But wouldn't it be nice to have both? But did they need both? But there would be lots of people at the cabin.

Her memory continued back to that day. Did she grab the ham? Or didn't she?

The evidence pointed to the fact that she DIDN'T. After all, WE DID HAVE A MISSING HAM.

AND SHE DID HAVE A HAM IN HER FRIDGE!

My sister was totally flustered and we put her on speaker phone, and laughed and teased her about stealing our Christmas ham. She profusely apologized, blushed along 300 miles of phone wire, then good-naturedly joined in the laughter, tagging herself the Grinch.

As we put the frozen roast in the crock pot, we joked about it being a ham.

And just as we were serving Christmas dinner, we took this picture and texted it to my sister, telling her it looked like ham to us!

Even tho it was awfully small. And dry. And hard to chew.

More laughter. But, we still enjoyed a very delicious Christmas dinner.

But later, just as we were sitting down to dessert, my sister sent a text.

A text with a picture. A picture of her Costco receipt, with the purchase price circled FOR A HAM!

HER HAM!

And so, instead of eating Oreo Cookie Dessert, we sat down to a piece of HUMBLE PIE!

We laughed and laughed.

And later, when my parents got back to their house, they looked in their freezer, and found OUR HAM!

The mystery of the missing ham solved!

We will laugh about it for years to come!

Carpe Diem

2011-12-30T21:26:00.000-08:00

My birthday is bittersweet.

For those who are new, Joe was born on my 21st birthday--the best birthday gift ever! And for 21 years we celebrated the day together.

But after we lost Joe, my birthday became a day of heart wrenching memories and emptiness. The flashback of previous parties brought back all the laughter of Joe--and all the bitterness of loss. I usually opted to skip my birthday--or at least celebrate on a different day.

But this year was different. Maybe because more years have passed. Maybe because I've worked through more grief this year. Maybe because I really do know that Joe would want me to still celebrate--for both of us.

And it's still sad. It always will be. But so is every day.

But it's also happy. I had all the other kids home. That's the best gift of all.

We went out to eat.

It was a big crew of special people.

Including my parents.

And then we went to an arcade.

Because Joe would have loved that.

And everyone had a blast.

And then I cried all the way home. And I let myself cry. Because I've learned to allow that of myself.

And then we filled the evening watching movies, reading books, making cookies, doing puzzles, and enjoying each precious moment with one another.

Because Joe would have loved that.

Carpe Diem. Seize the day.

A Missing Child on Christmas Eve

2011-12-27T20:24:00.000-08:00

Two stories will forever be etched in our Christmas memories. One: a missing child in the middle of the night. Two: the mystery of the missing ham.

The days before Christmas left Vu a nighttime mess. Which meant he was also a daytime mess. He became more and more wound up, wondering if Santa would come (doesn't he always?). He wasn't sleeping well AT ALL. He was a little bit crazy!

Christmas does this to Vu every year. Christmas Eve was the culmination of excitement! He went to sleep at 10 . . . and woke up at 11:30. PM.

He didn't go back to sleep. Which made Santa's arrival tricky.

He did wake me up several times during the night, and I finally went to sleep with him in his bed around one.

At 2:30 I woke up and noticed he wasn't there. I was thinking the little Booger was down scouting out the Christmas gifts! I went downstairs. No Vu. I went to the basement. No Vu. I checked every single bedroom, bathroom, couch, closet, and hiding place. No Vu.

At this point, I was getting a little freaked! I was silently talking to myself, trying to keep calm, reassuring my own brain, which was definitely starting to freak out with all the possibilities! Surely he was here in the house . . calm down . . . I will find him . . . someday I will laugh about this.

But it was no laughing matter! He was NO WHERE TO BE FOUND!!! At 3 AM on a cold and blustery night!!!

Could he be sleepwalking?? Kidnapped??

In the course of my house search, I also noticed that James had left. But James had said he might go sleep at his own home, so I figured that was where he was.

I KNEW he wouldn't take Vu home with him--why would he?

But after searching the house even more thoroughly, heart racing, I finally called James on his cell phone.

Cool-As-A-Cucumber-James: "Hi Mom!"
Panic-Crazed-Self: "Oh, do you know where Vu is? I can't find him anywhere!"
Cool James: "Oh, he's here with me."
Long pause.
Panicked Me: "Where are you???"
James: "Oh, well, Vu kept going up and down the stairs, and he woke me up, and I thought he was going to wake everyone else up, so I decided to take him out to breakfast."

Me: Speechless.

It isn't everyday my child disappears in the middle of the night (on Christmas Eve) to go to a 3 am breakfast at an all-night diner.

What a great big brother to take the little wild-man out to breakfast! I'm sure James didn't think about leaving a note because he knew we were all sleeping! Vu will always remember their Christmas Eve adventure.

Just a little bit of Christmas craziness!

I am glad to report that since that night, Vu has slept like a baby!

Stay tuned for the story of the missing ham!

Christmas Surprise

2011-12-26T17:57:00.000-08:00

Santa Claus was really good.

REALLY GOOD!

Guess what he brought?

It was an extra special surprise, coordinated by one of his elves.

We were all at a Christmas Eve party.

Having a lot of fun, but missing Will and Cort, who live on the East Coast.

I have been telling myself for weeks that I have to get used to not having the crew together on Christmas.

But then, guess who came in???

WILL AND CORT!!!!!

When they first walked in I starred, dumbfounded. Then I smiled, and casually said, "Hi!"

Then realized it really was my son and his wife, and that they live 3,000 miles away, and had not been home for what seems like a lifetime, and they were not going to be able to come home for Christmas.

And then I shouted with surprise!

And then I cried! Of course!

Not many pictures--I was still in shock!

Church was extra special.

The Christmas Elf delivered big time--OSU Beaver theme this year.

Even an extra pair for Mei Mei.

Christmas morning was extra exciting!

Christmas dinner brought more tears of joy--just amazed to see the smiling faces of Will and Cort around the table--unfortunately James had to leave for work right before we ate.

A very special Christmas, with a very special crew of kids. We are truly blessed!

I am so thankful to Hubby for arranging the Christmas surprise!

And no Christmas would be complete without an Awkward Family Foto.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!

All I Really Want For Christmas

2011-12-24T12:08:00.000-08:00

On this Christmas Eve we are especially thankful that we are able to share our joy with a new daughter.

Please consider supporting an orphan through sponsorship, fostering, or adoption--lives will be changed!

On this special day we think of all the children left behind . . . .

'Twas The Week Before Christmas

2011-12-15T13:27:00.001-08:00

My November resolution was to organize for Christmas.

I am happy to report that miracles are possible.

The tree has been decorated and topped,

the presents have been purchased (and some are even wrapped),

and the baking is in full-blown-oven-blow-out-mode.

I don't want to alarm anyone, but I will even be mailing my Christmas cards BEFORE Christmas this year.

Yep. Don't faint.

Cards are generally mailed in January. Or March. Or never. I am always still shopping on Christmas Eve, the tree is put up days before, and I have been know to still be wrapping---just minutes before the unwrapping begins.

It must be all that nesting instinct kicking in.

Or maybe it's having a new child who is incredibly excited for all the Christmas happenings.

Whatever it is, I'm happy.

Now if I can just slow down and enjoy the season---

And since I'm now going to try to do that, I will leave you with two favorite Christmas posts.

It just wouldn't be Christmas without the retelling.

I swear this story is true--remember, which is why we laugh about it every year.

And Stalking Santa just makes me smile.

My Joy Filled Boy

2011-12-08T16:43:00.000-08:00

If I had describe Vu in one word it would be JOY! He is filled with smiles, and hugs, and imagination.

But my sweet boy struggles so much in school and we have finally decided to have him tested to see if underlying issues can be sorted out.

It is so hard to get to this point.

It is so hard to be in a meeting with multiple school officials and hear them say, for formality, "So, we just need to make certain that you are requested testing to check for learning disabilities, is that correct."

And it is so hard to keep the tears from rising to the surface when I reply, "Yes, that is correct."

I love his teacher who reminded me later that Vu is such a joy and that we have to keep all the positives up front. She is so right!

Vu loves to create! In as recent pilgrim project for Thanksgiving, the kids had to make a doll representing a pilgrim from their family heritage. We told Vu he could choose an ancestor from either side of our family--or he could choose himself since he is also an immigrant.

Vu chose himself. He had so much fun putting his pilgrim together!

And since I never posted pics, I must also share the ones of him learning to ride without training wheels.

Once he decided he was ready he took matters into his own hands:

And took off like a lightening bolt.

It's not easy facing the reality of learning disabilities.

But it's where we're at, and we're willing to do whatever it takes to help our joy filled boy.

Oh how I love this kid!

My Secret Fantasy Man

2011-12-02T20:58:00.000-08:00

I have a confession to make.

I have secret fantasies about a man.

A man who is not my husband.

I fell in love with him years ago when he came to my house to deliver a very special gift. He's come back several times since, and each time it's a memorable, grand celebration! Each visit includes laughter and hugs and photos for our special memory book.

But lately?

Lately, I haven't seen him.

In fact, I haven't seen him for MONTHS!

I do see him driving around town and every . single . time . my heart gives a jerk and starts beating with wild abandon.

He drives an amazing set of wheels that make my heart swoon! His sleek, shiny, testosterone laden vehicle is HUGE!

My cheeks flush and I honk my horn!

I wave and blow kisses. Sometimes I'll even pull behind him, hoping he'll decide to follow me home.

But he never does.

And you know what's really heartbreaking?

He IGNORES me! Ignores me!

Worse! He looks at me with disdain!

And sometimes even fear.

We're on day 90 waiting for our LOA (very important adoption paperwork).

Please Mr. Fed Ex Man. Come for a visit very soon!

I promise not to maul you like last time!

EDITED: We have received our LOA!!! Joyful happiness! But I forgot my promise about not mauling, and I don't think we'll be seeing that Fed Ex man again--if ever.

But that's okay. Hazards of the job.

We have our sweet LOA--we're one step closer to our Mei Mei.

Book Winner!

2011-11-30T17:44:00.000-08:00

Thanks for all your warm wishes regarding our Mei Mei.

"Mei mei" means "little sister" in Chinese. That will be her blog name.

I always feel badly not sharing, but I'll wait to post her picture until she is safely in our arms--I'm not even certain she knows about our family yet.

But trust me. She is so beautiful, with such sweetness. I don't have recent measurements, but she looks tall and thin. She appears very shy--but we'll just have to see what the love of a large family brings out in her!

I loved hearing everyone's favorite books and guesses. Thanks for joining the fun!

I finally decided to do the drawing the good ol' fashion way--with paper.

Drumroll please . . .

Vu had the honor of drawing . . . .

And the winner of The Family that Nobody Wanted . . .

my favorite book ever is . . .

Nancy!!!

Congratulations Nancy!

Nancy is my new China-mom-adoption-friend, and we plan to travel together, so I had to laugh when her name was drawn. Surely it's a sign we really will!

I have lots of books to weed out of my overgrown collection, so we picked five more names:

Daisy, Micaela, Are These Kids Yours, Stacey, and thecurry7!

I will send each of you a surprise book, freshly dusted off from my bookshelf!

Send me your address if I don't already have it: r8rgr8@frontier.com

Thanks again for playing and for joining our excitement!

We Are Incredibly Overjoyed To Announce . . .

2011-11-28T14:52:00.000-08:00

We have been blessed by another daughter!

A little Mei Mei, 10 years old, with the most beautiful, soul-filled eyes.

She has been waiting for a forever family her whole life--and we are so incredibly, amazingly blessed, to be that family.

We have been in process since last summer and hope to travel back to China in about three months.

We can't wait to add more energy to our crazy family!

Every good and perfect gift is from above ~ James 1:17

Clue #2--My New Favorite Number

2011-11-27T10:13:00.000-08:00

For your viewing entertainment: Sesame Street and 10 Chinese Things.

Urgent: Kate Needs A Family!

2011-11-25T22:49:00.000-08:00

NOTE: This is not the gift I have been referring to--but oh how I pray she will find the gift of a family!!!

Advocating for this child, and praying she finds a family in time!

She has so little time left!!!

In China, once a child turns 14 they can no longer be adopted, and will never know the love of a forever family.

Once an orphan turns 14, they are forever relegated to the life of an orphan, and will face a lifetime of extreme discrimination.

Please pray for Kate.

*Note that due to the short timeframe, only families who already have a dossier in China (or have adopted from China in the last year), will be able to complete the adoption in time. If you are currently matched and waiting to adopt a child from China, it is also possible that you might be able to bring home both children at the same time--both the child you are currently matched with AND Kate--call or e-mail Holt's Waiting Child Dept. for more information.

Relishing Our Gifts

2011-11-25T15:18:00.000-08:00

I love all your guesses and the sharing of your favorite books. Thank you! You all make me smile!

I am excited to tell you the answer to the guessing game--but with the surprise new gift, I have to first relish in the joy of a new baby!

Did I mention how excited we are?

Within the hour I had purchased the first gift for my grandbaby.

We are so thankful to God for ALL His precious blessings.

We had a nice Thanksgiving, complete with lots of food,

followed by the traditional naps,

(have I ever mentioned how much I LOVE this giant couch--one of our best purchases ever!)

Then we concluded the evening with a trip to the bowling alley--Lizzy was working so it gave us a chance to spend the evening with her. It was cosmic bowling and we had a (bowling) ball!

And then we joined the crazies to do some midnight shopping. Oh, how I wish I had pics of Paul sitting in the Target shopping cart!

The guessing game will continue tomorrow, with the results on Monday. Keep the guesses (and the lists of favorite childhood books) coming in!

In the meantime, I am relishing the NEW surprise gift!

I hope you are all having a blessed holiday!

What A Blessed Thanksgiving!

2011-11-23T20:46:00.000-08:00

I just found out I am going to be a GRANDMA!!!!

This was not the gift I was talking about--how blessed we are this Thanksgiving!

Will and Cort announced the big news tonight. They are going to be fantastic parents!

Will also returned from his difficult training today, safe and sound, so we have many blessings to be thankful for. Praise God!

Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow;
Praise Him, all creatures here below;
Praise Him above, ye Heavenly Host;
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Amen.

Congrats to the new Mommy and Daddy!

Clue #1

2011-11-22T23:24:00.000-08:00

The gift involves travel.

A Guessing Game Give-Away

2011-11-22T00:03:00.000-08:00

Several years ago I read that a blog isn't a real blog if there aren't giveaways.

So I guess I'm not real.

But I've decided to change all that. Just for today.

And besides, I have a fun little guessing game to add to the giveaway.

The giveaway will be my ALL TIME FAVORITE book--I have loved it since I first read it in 5th grade. I have read it so many times I can't even count! I love it so much I want to share a copy with one of you!

The Family Nobody Wanted, by Helen Doss.

The guessing game ties into Thanksgiving.

I am especially thankful this Thanksgiving for an extra special gift.

Can you guess what that gift is?

So . . . enter into the giveaway by posting a comment on what you think my special Thanksgiving gift is.

Get an extra entry by having a correct answer.

Get an extra, extra entry by sharing your all-time, favorite, childhood book.

Get a bucket full of entries by sending me a Starbuck's card.

Kidding. That wouldn't be fair. But I do love coffee. And chocolate. And books.

Anyhoo . . .

The answer will be posted on Saturday and the drawing will occur soon thereafter (this means the drawing will occur when I get my tech-savvy teens to help do it through the computer).

Happy Guessing! And enjoy reminiscing about your favorite childhood books! Looking forward to it!

Finally! And Update on Rose!

2011-11-19T20:46:00.000-08:00

At this time last year, Rose was still an orphan.

But now? Now, she has a FOREVER family!

Rose is amazing! She is loving, generous, funny, energetic, and smart!

And did I mention beautiful???

Her English is coming along well--now we are just working hard to keep her Chinese! She goes to Chinese school every Saturday and frequently talks to Chinese friends who have also been adopted.

Last summer, she finally learned to ride her bike. It was difficult, and day after day she would try . . .

and fail. But then, one day, she finally just took off, smiling from ear to ear and screaming,

"Me can!!! Me can!!!!"

And now she's already counting down the years until she can drive.

Believe you me, she can do anything she puts her mind to!

I'm not saying there haven't been challenges. There have been misunderstandings, cultural differences, and sometimes jealousy. She can be competitive, determined, and bossy.

But mostly? Rose adds so much joy to our lives! She is full of love and affection. Sweet and spicy! She wants to do everything and try everything!

Currently, she's taking ballet, Chinese dance, and art class. She's also starting basketball soon. And she loves to swim.

We don't usually let our kids sign up for so many obligations, but she's such a go-getter--and it's hard to say no when she's never had the chance to experience the opportunities in life.

She appreciates having a family-- tho she grieves the foster family she left behind. She misses her motherland. She hungers for real Chinese food.

We are blessed to have Rose in our lives.

She is truly a gift from heaven.

We are so grateful that she faced her fears and came to a new land, a new life, and a new family.

We are so thankful we put aside our own fears, listened to God, and proceeded with the adoption of an older child, who had been raised in an orphanage for most of her life, and who had waited on a photolisting for over a year.

We are truly blessed.

Praise God from Whom all blessings flow! We love you Rose!

Alcohol: My New Best Friend

2011-11-18T23:09:00.000-08:00

Woke up this morning and immediately googled how to get silly putty out of clothing . . . and blankets . . . and sheets . . . and hair.

(Apparently, Vu was having a little too much fun at bedtime.)

The answer?

Alcohol!

Rubbing alcohol! Just pour it on, rub the putty out--then launder.

Miraculous!

Bring on the next adventure!

How did I ever live life without Google??

The Happy Ending

2011-11-16T22:33:00.000-08:00

I couldn't repost yesterday's without also including this one from 2008. I am happy to report that Prince Charming and Mr. Personality have since had several happy reunions!

Once Upon A Time

Once upon a time there were two beautiful baby boys, born just days apart, sleeping side by side together in a Vietnamese orphanage.

The two tiny babies took bottles at the same time every day and soon grew bigger and bigger. The babies developed happy personalities and were a joy to their nannies who decided to name them, "Mr. Personality" and "Prince Charming."

The nannies loved the boys very much and hoped they would find families soon, but both boys continued to wait. Together, they learned to sit and crawl and walk.

Then, Vietnam closed their adoption program. Children could no longer be adopted by Americans. The nannies were very sad the boys did not have families.

Mr. Personality and Prince Charming continued to grow and spent their days together laughing and sharing secrets. They played tag and hide-and-go seek with the other children. Sometimes at naptime the nannies would make them a special little fort with a sheet spread between two cribs and their sleeping mats underneath. The boys would giggle and tickle one another until the nannies made them go to sleep.

Years went by and the boys grew into active four-year-old boys. They filled their days eating, playing and sleeping together. One day, the nannies buzzed with excitement--adoptions between the U.S. and Vietnam would resume! They loved the boys and would be brokenhearted to see them leave but because they loved them so much, they wanted them to have a life they could not give them in the orphanage.

One day, Mr. Personality was told his forever family would be coming very soon to bring him home. Soon, the nannies made a cake and had a "Going Party" wishing him good luck and kissing his little head and crying sad farewells.

That night, Prince Charming and Mr. Personality slept side by side one last time.

The next morning a Mommy and Daddy came for Mr. Personality! He was very excited to finally have a family and go to America!

Mr. Charming watched them drive out the front gate. He was sad. He knew he would not see his friend again. He missed Mr. Personality's laughter and the excitement he brought to the orphanage. He missed the way he and his friend would hide from the nannies in the baby room, laughing as the nannies would feign an inability to find them.

That night Prince Charming cried. He asked his nannies when he would get a mommy and daddy. The nannies looked at each other sadly and said, "Someday, Prince Charming . . . someday."

Another year passed and Prince Charming said goodbye to nearly all his little friends. As each left, one by one, part of his heart left too and every night he would ask his nannies when he would get a new mommy and daddy.

"Someday, Prince Charming . . . someday."

Months passed until one day, the orphanage director brought him to her office. She was both smiling and crying. She had a package in front of her with toys and Skittles and Superman pajamas. And a book. A book filled with pictures. A book filled with pictures of Prince Charming's new family.

"Vu, you finally have a forever family! They will come very soon!"

And they did! And he was very, very happy.

Vu loved having a family but sometimes, late at night, as he drifted off to sleep he would hear one of his nannies in a distant land playing hide-and-seek and calling out, "Where are you two boys! Prince Charming, Mr. Personality, where are you?" He would remember how he and his special friend would run and laugh and hide. He missed his friend.

Then one day, Vu's mother told him she had a very special surprise for him! She told him he was going to get to visit his long-lost friend, Mr. Personality.

And they laughed:

And they shared secrets:

And they played tag, and hide-and-go-seek, and Bakugan, and Star Wars, and they made plans for their next visit together:

And they were very, very, VERY happy!

And when they left each other this time, they knew they would see each other again.

As they live happily ever after!

Remembering His Losses

2011-11-15T22:27:00.000-08:00

Today, I was talking to a therapist who works with adopted children. In our conversation I said that adoptive parents don't hear enough about the grief that occurs when our children lose their orphanage friends one by one--a reminder of the incredible pain our children have endured.

In an effort to share, I am reposting this from 2009. Please consider adopting an older child who waits, and waits, and waits. Their loses are great--but their joys in a newfound life are also multiplied.

This post still makes me cry.

It's Not Fair

I knew he would be sad. I knew he would grieve. I knew he would be confused and emotional and frustrated. What I didn't know was how angry he would be.

I expected him to be angry at me for taking him away from everyone and everything he had ever loved. He's not. But he is angry at me for a reason I never expected--for taking so long to come and get him.

Many kids repress their memories of life in the orphanage. It's a coping mechanism, one that draws a line between before and after; an electric fence that protects.

Some kids keep snapshots or let memories creep out in dreams.

And then some are like Vu. He talks about Vietnam every . single . day. His memories are as bright as a golden dragon--and as dark as a dung beetle. He was loved. He was also left. Over, and over, and over, again.

Vu was raised in the orphanage from the time he was a baby. He grew up with four other children, all the same age and for four years they slept together, ate together, played together. They were like siblings. And there were other children too, many living in foster care, but visiting the orphanage often enough to be close friends. There were babies and toddlers Vu loved--one of his favorite things to do was go play with the babies in the baby room.

And then Vietnam reopened bringing a tapestry of joy interwoven with grief. One by one Vu's beloved friends and babies left; piece by piece, his heart left too. The orphanage began to empty out leaving Vu feeling like the last kid to be chosen for the playground team.

His saddest memory was when Mr. Personality left. Vu tells me, "After he left every day, every day, I had to sleep ALL ALONE! And I was scared!" Vu rarely cries. Vu cries when he tells me this story. I cry too. I cry just writing this.

Vu tells me it's not fair. It's not fair he was left behind. It's not fair that everyone's mom came and his did not. My feeble explanations fall upon ears unable to understand, a mind too young to comprehend, a heart too broken with hurt and ultimately, words cannot explain what even I do not understand. What matters is the truth.

His friends had a Mommy.

He did not.

And it's not fair.

Thank You For Fighting For Us

2011-11-11T11:18:00.000-08:00

My daughter-in-love sent me this link.

Thank you to all the men and women who fought for me, my children, my country, and the world.

Sending special prayers and love to my Will, who is currently in a very challenging field assignment.

Thank you!

A Question For God

2011-11-09T21:42:00.000-08:00

"Sometimes I'd like to ask God why He allows poverty, famine, and injustice in the world when He could do something about it . . ."

" . . . but I'm afraid God might ask me the same question."
-Anonymous

Waiting Children

2011-11-07T09:45:00.000-08:00

So many children wait. Does one of these faces belong in your family?

Shop 'Til You Drop

2011-11-05T16:03:00.000-07:00

The Three Musketeers decided to combine their candy. What a great idea, yes?

No, I don't think so. And I would have said as much if they had asked. But they didn't ask. I am just waiting for a fight of who ate who's whatever.

BUT, those three do crack me up!

They put all their candy in a pillowcase. Then, one will shout out, "Time to go shopping!" The child who is "shopping" will then proceed to put their head in the pillowcase, rummage around, then come out with the "purchase"--the chosen piece of candy.

I love having kids! Too funny!

Party On

2011-11-04T11:37:00.000-07:00

As long as I've been on the birthday party wagon--thought I would go ahead and prove that saying of "better late than never."

Before we went to China (yes, that would be, like, forever ago), I intended to post birthday pics for Vu, Kim, Patrick, and Lizzy. They have birthdays one right after the other.

But then, life got crazy as I packed and prepared and packed and PACKED for China. (Did you know it is very complicated to take 9 people to China?)

Anyhoo, highlights of our last birthday season.

Vu's party was at Chuck E. Cheese. I am not a big fan of commercialized parties, but The Ticket Blaster and his smile was worth every penny. This kid is FULL OF JOY!

Kim had a party at home. One of her gifts was contacts! Yipee for the girl who doesn't like (and can't keep track of) glasses! She also got invited to join the family in China (originally, she and Lizzy were staying home because they had travelled to Vietnam). Pretty sweet birthday gift for a SUPER SWEET girl!

Lizzy had a family party and then a surprise party! Lots of fun and we were so glad the girls joined us in China. Lizzy is a wonderful daughter and one of my best friends!

Patrick celebrated at the bowling alley, then followed with some mattress sliding at home. FUN! Patrick is my MORE boy--more of everything! He is an amazing kid and I love him so much!

For James' birthday, we were actually in China. When we returned home, we took him out to a fancy dinner. It was DELICIOUS with quite the view. James is one of the nicest people I know. My first born. He always makes me smile and I love him tons!

Whew! I feel better now! All caught up! Just in time for birthday season to roll around again!

Chocolate Poisoning

2011-11-02T22:16:00.000-07:00

Halloween was wonderful! Martha Stewart was busy, but the pumpkins got carved.

And the kids were so excited! No rain (despite rain earlier in the day).

Rose was absolutely THRILLED! Here she is trick-or-treating for the very first time.

It was fun just watching her enjoy the thrill of the hunt. She was a bit freaked out by the neighborhood haunted house, but the boys were pumped!

Paul's impromptu party went well. He even cleaned up!

My children are now drunk with chocolate--and will be for a few days.

I used to dole out the candy piece by piece, day by day.

Now? Now, I am a seasoned mother. This is a nice way of saying I am a lazy mother. I let my kids eat all the candy they want until it's gone! (Unfortunately, they still want me to cook meals.)

No fights, no begging, no candy for weeks on end.

Eat it up kids! Hopefully, you'll barf along the way and keep from poisoning yourselves!

Halloween Nightmares

2011-10-31T09:30:00.000-07:00

Patrick woke up this morning, rubbed his eyes, looked at me with a wild, confused expression, then said, "I had the most horrible dream! It was Halloween! And it was raining!"

I expected him to go on, telling me about goblins and headless creatures, but that was his horrible dream.

Rain.

And, in our neck of the woods, Halloween often includes rain. And the bummer about rain is that it usually means a shortened round of trick-or-treating (and therefore CANDY).

I am happy to report that the sky is blue!

How are my little goblins dressing up?

A couple of weeks ago we were in the car and Vu says, "For Halloween, I want to dress up like Daniel in the Bible. Or God."

Ahhhh. Isn't that just so sweet? My heart did a little happy dance of Christian Mommy Pride.

Then Patrick says, "I want to be Scream! Or the Grim Reaper!"

Christian Mommy Pride erased.

After lots of changes, I think we are going to have Princess Jasmine (Rose), a ninja (Vu), and some kind of a headless-bad-guy-dude-all-dressed-in-black-with-a-big-ax (Guess-Who?). Lizzy is also getting in on the fun because they dress up at her workplace.

Kim wants to go trick-or-treating but is having a hard time convincing her too-cool high-school friends that they are not too old (in my opinion, you are never too old!).

Paul is having a last minute Halloween party. Which means I need to go to the store. Again.

And I have been informed that my kids will disown me if I hand out any more pencils, playdough, or stickers. I am only allowed to hand out candy.

Guess I should put "candy" on the shopping list.

Oh, and we never carved our pumpkins, so add that to today's "must do" list.

It's looking like another fun Halloween! Enjoy yours! Eat a lot of candy!

Happy Halloween!

My Teenage Son

2011-10-28T00:01:00.000-07:00

Did you notice that my weekend pics did not include any of my favorite teenage son, Paul?

He has been doing lots of this lately,

which resulted in this:

I'll save his pride and not post his picture, but he did a faceplant at the skate park. Not pretty.

Let's just say he looks all boy right now. Luckily, he's healing up fine and nothing is broken. He did finagle his way out of two days of school, so I think it was worth it for him!

This gave him lots of time with his best friend, his new cell phone, which he got for his birthday.

We celebrated up at the cabin, but I forgot the cake, so I had to get creative:

It's amazing what one can do with Oreo cookies, pudding snacks, marshmallows and candles. Luckily, my laid-back boy didn't mind.

Boys are such a blast! I love my boys and they always love their mama, even when they are teenagers!

Paul is kick-in-the-pants funny, he is our social butterfly, a sports nut, a fisherman, a midnight cupboard raider, and an entertainer. He is also a lover of giant ice cream cones.

On e-How I recently saw a post on How to Understand Your Teenage Son. Great advice!

"Instructions:

1 Make sure your son sees your emotions as they relate to him: love, approval, disapproval, happiness or encouragement. While his face may not betray any emotion, he does seek it from you.

2 Observe his sleeping and eating patterns. Many teenage boys overbook themselves with sports, school, work and a social life and do not get enough sleep. After infancy, this is the time of life when they need the most sleep.

3 Remember he is not a younger version of his father. He is not yet an adult. The teenage brain is not fully formed until late teen years and sometimes into the early twenties.

4 Communicate at the right time. Think about the times you had a good conversation, and look for trends. It might be in the car, after dinner, after school or in the flush of a team victory-not first thing in the morning.

5 Set boundaries. Teenage boys may chafe at rules, but they actually do need them and want them. Make sure they understand the boundaries, and emphasize safety and the law as reasons if your son challenges you.

6 Learn about the things that interest him. Television shows about wrestling or thriller movies may not be your thing, but they are his world. If nothing else, it gives you an opening topic of conversation.

7 Look at the world he lives in. He is working through his place in the world, trying to understand girls for the first time and dealing with school and other pressures. It's a lot to carry around.

Read more: How to Understand A Teenage Son
eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_2066249_understand-teenage-son.html#ixzz1c4HYIe4M"

I love you Paul! You add so much joy to our family and our lives! You are truly a blessing and you are forever loved! Keep smiling--and keep wearing your helmet!

Happy Birthday Will!

2011-10-25T22:05:00.000-07:00

Happy 22nd birthday to Will! You might be a big, strong, American soldier now; all grown up and even married to a beautiful girl,

but you will always be my Lil' Pumpkin!

I was hoping we might be able to talk by phone today, so we could all sing you Happy Birthday, but I'm guessing the Army isn't all that into song and dance.

I hope they at least let your field training include an extra special MRE of your choice!

I still remember the day you were born, just like it was yesterday. You had the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen, with a depth that could only be from Heaven. Not only were you a beautiful baby, but you have always been a beautiful person--inside and out!

Family Picture 1990 (Will's on my lap)

I feel so blessed that out of all the mothers in the whole wide world, God chose me to be yours.

Oh, how I love you! I am so proud of you!

Happy, Happy Birthday!

Week,emd im Pics

2011-10-24T22:51:00.000-07:00

The weekrnd included a famcy fumdraising event annd fake nailz so now i cam''t type.

Weekennd im pics:

Kim;s homecomimg:

Fun at ther pumpkin patch:

Appple pies:

And a teA partuy:

Hop[e you ahd a blessed weekeknd!

I Hate Bad Mother Moments

2011-10-21T00:03:00.000-07:00

Kim called me tonight. Shouting with excitement, then crying. They had won their first soccer game!

But her tears weren't happy tears, they were sad tears.

Why was she crying? Because I didn't make it to her game.

I had full intentions of going, but in the midst of attending five school conferences and then taking the boys to hip-hop, my Energizer bunny ran out of steam (and did I mention that Hubby is out of town?). It started to rain and the idea of sitting in the pouring rain with three children did not sound very appealing. Nor did the drive since it wasn't a home game. And have I ever mentioned that soccer isn't my favorite sport?

I told myself that it didn't really matter that much if I missed Kim's game. As a freshman, she doesn't get much playing time anyway. She wouldn't really care.

But she did care, and it did matter. A lot. And because they were up by several goals, she played--a lot. And I know it isn't just about her playing anyway--it's about her team. It's about being there for her and her team and the sport she loves.

As soon as she started to choke up on the phone, saying she wished I had been there, she tried to hide her tears and hung up.

When she got home she put on a happy face and said it was fine that I hadn't come. She understood. No big deal.

But I know it was a big deal. She wanted me there. And I wasn't. And I know I can't be at every game of every child, but I could have been at this one.

And it just makes me sad.

Sigh.

I hate bad mother moments.

Family Favorites: The Rice Box

2011-10-18T13:53:00.000-07:00

My kids have almost outgrown this. Sigh. But it has been loved for many years.

A plastic bin filled with steel-cut oats, rice, or lentils,

Plus Micro Machines,

Equals many hours of happiness.

You can put down a bedsheet or plastic tablecloth for easy clean-up.

Awesome rainy day fun!

Anna Rose

2011-10-17T12:39:00.000-07:00

Enjoying this beautiful song, on a beautiful day.

The Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day Turnaround

2011-10-16T14:56:00.000-07:00

Vu was having a bad day. One of those days where everything seemed to be going wrong, similar to Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.

Vu came to me crying that not only was he having a terrible day, but he also had NOBODY to play with! NOBODY! (Probably because nobody wanted to play with a Mr. Grumpypants!)

On this day I had compassion for him. He really did seem to be having one of those "No good, very bad days." So unlike my Joyful Boy.

So I stopped cleaning the kitchen and we got out the blocks. And we gathered the little Matchbox cars.

And soon, we had built an incredible castle that morphed from a car shop,

into a car museum.

From there we made an aircraft museum.

And then we added the racetrack.

I remember when Vu didn't know how to play. He didn't understand how to create imaginary stories with concrete items.

I marvel at how far my little boy has come.

And on this day, some special time with Mommy turned his terrible day into a terrific day!

And on this day, I was reminded of the joy I get when I choose to stop what I'm doing (which probably isn't that important anyway--especially in the scheme of things), and get down and play with my child.

"This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." ~Psalm 118:24

She Had So Many Children She Knew Just What To Do

2011-10-12T13:09:00.000-07:00

While waiting in a doctor's office I picked up the book, I Love You Rituals. What a wonderful resource for parents of young children--especially adoptive parents.

One nursery rhyme especially stood out to me--I've never been a fan of the original, but love this version:

There was a wonderful woman who lived in a shoe
She had so many children she knew exactly what to do,
She fed them and hugged them and tucked them in bed,
"I love you, I love you" is what she said.

Enjoying a meal at our favorite restaurant in Guangzhou--

home of the famous KFP--

Kentucky Fried Pigeon!

(Patrick will be forever famous for coining the term!)

Tricks Of The Trade--OR--How To Talk A Husband Into Adopting

2011-10-10T23:18:00.000-07:00

Several asked if my last post was an announcement. It wasn't meant to be--tho with the new rule on re-using the dossier maybe it should be!

If you've adopted from China in the last year and you are considering adopting again, look into it!

I am telling you people-EZZZYYYY PEEEEZZY!

If only I could think of a new trick for the old fart.

I've already done the boy/boat switch. You know?

The one where you say all that paperwork and money is for a really amazing, super incredible, one-of-a-kind boat?

And then later, you feign shock as to why your husband thought you said "boat" instead of "boy?"

(It can be a little tricky explaining why fingerprints are needed for a "boat," but some husbands are gullible that way.)

After the initial shock wore off, it turns out the man is extremely pleased with his little Vietnamese ~~boat~~ boy!

With Rose I used the "exchange student" trick.

The biggest challenge was explaining to Hubby why we had to go to China to bring her home. I came up with the excuse that she was only ten and had never been on an airplane before--all true!

Fingerprints made more sense for an exchange student. Writing all those checks was a little bit trickier.

But the end result was a happy, smiling husband, and a wonderful new ~~exchange student~~ daughter.

As you can see, I'm running out of tricks.

But being the creative genius that I am, I think I've come up with a new one!

The grill/girl switch.

You know those really fancy outdoor grills?

I'm thinking I can convince the old fart that we're going to China to get an amazing, beautiful, one-of-a-kind ~~girl~~ grill.

What do you think? Will he go for it?

Any ideas of how to pass off fingerprints once again?

He's getting smarter by the kid, and he just might be onto all my tricks now.

Why Adopt Again?

2011-10-07T11:52:00.000-07:00

A simple question, yet it can seem complicated to answer.

A question we have been asked with every adoption.

Why adopt?

Why adopt again.

.

Rose--walking into the hotel, and her new life with her new family, on Adoption Day.

It's a question that is particularly asked in large families.

Ask ten adoptive parents and you'll probably get ten different answers--"We wanted to give an orphan a home," "The Bible says to care for orphans and widows," "We didn't want our son to be the only boy," "We wanted a little girl."

While answers such as these can be part of the equation, they can never be the leading reason. Or at least, they shouldn't be.

In our compassion to help vulnerable children, it would be easy to adopt for humanitarian reasons. It would be easy to adopt for religious reasons. It would be easy to fall in love with a face on a waiting child photolisting. It would be easy to want to adopt again for many reasons.

But despite the many reasons to adopt, or to adopt again, there can only be one cornerstone.

We want another child.

Plain and simple.

Another child to love and share laughter with.

And another child to wake us up at midnight with a bad dream.

Another child to teach, to dress up on Halloween, to share the wonder of nature, to snuggle with on a cold winter evening while watching the new Disney princess movie.

And another child who throws fits in the middle of the grocery store, gets carsick on every vacation, and who wants to be picked up in church so he can "See over that fat lady!" and then, when you pick him up, trying to whisper that "fat" isn't a nice word, he yells out for all to hear (right in the middle of the prayer), "OWWWWCH!!!!! YOU'RE SQUASHING MY PENIS!!!"

We have to want another child. No matter what. To have and to hold from this day forward. For better or worse. In sickness and in health. Forever and ever.

Because our lives would feel empty without them.

There can only be one cornerstone.

To the question of adopting again.

Plain and simple.

Because we want another child.

Be Inspired!

2011-10-07T09:44:00.000-07:00

Preparing For Adopting An Older Child

2011-10-05T22:31:00.000-07:00

Dawn Davenport, at Creating a Family, hosted a radio program today entitled, Preparing Yourself and Your Children for Adopting an Older Child from Abroad.

There were some rockin' cool people on the show--see if you recognize any!

There was also some crazy lady with a bunch of kids. She reminded kinda reminded me of myself. Except that my voice sounds much better. And my answers would be more intelligent. And my name is easier to pronounce. Ann. Ya know. Eazzy Peeezzy. At least, I think that's my name. Maybe it's not my name.

Maybe my cover has just been blown! EEEE-GADS! My cover has been blown!

The paparazzi is probably going to arrive at any moment!

Do I look fat in this?

Enjoy the show, and go to the Creating a Family website for a ton of great resources and information! (Mom, push the arrow below, then wait for several seconds as it loads :-)

Listen to internet radio with Creating a Family on Blog Talk Radio

More School Year's Resolutions

2011-10-04T14:24:00.000-07:00

"Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise."

My October resolution comes from Benjamin Franklin.

For me, it's much easier said than done. I'm a night owl who likes to stay up late. And given the choice I would sleep in every . single . day.

Let me tell you. It is not easy to sleep in with 40,000 children. But I sure like to try.

The problem lies in the fact that these 40,000 children all go to public school. And public schools frown on tardiness.

I was getting in the habit of hitting the snooze button a few too many times, then rushing around.

I now get up 30 minutes earlier. It's working. Mornings are much calmer--and therefore much happier.

Happy sleeping--and rising--to you all!

Please Pray For Joshua

2011-10-03T08:13:00.000-07:00

Many of you helped Joshua come home.

This morning he is having heart surgery.

Please keep him in your prayers.

School Year's Resolutions--A Healthier Lifestyle

2011-10-01T13:01:00.000-07:00

Like New Year's resolutions, the beginning of the school year is always a great time to reflect.

After reading The Happiness Project, by Gretchen Rubin, I decided to come up with a new resolution for each month of the year. And actually, because I can never do anything on a small scale, I decided to come up with one big and one small resolution.

My big resolution for September was family health. My sister had some great thoughts on this topic with her post entitled, Lessons Learned in the Oncology Ward Infusion Room, lessons such as,

"Being sick (even though I haven’t even been truly sick) is extremely time consuming. I have spent more time at the doctor in the past 6 months than in all the 43 years before that I think! I am going to remember how time consuming sickness is every time I think I don’t have time to go work out or I don’t have time to make a healthy dinner for the family, cut up that fruit, take those vitamins, or whatever."

Her post really started me thinking about life choices. If my doctor told me I had to take heart medication I would, whereas if my doctor tells me eat healthy and exercise, I don't. At least, not to the level I should. In reality, the lack of a healthy lifestyle can lead to the need for heart medication.

Like many moms, I neglect my own exercise and health needs. My kids are involved in sports. I'm not. My kids are generally given healthy foods, but sometimes I'll grab a cookie and cup of coffee for myself. For lunch! The ironic thing is that this is the time in my life where I need my health the most!

I may not think I have time for exercise, but do I really want to skip it only to put in more time battling health problems later? I may not think I want to spend more time/money on healthy food choices, but if I don't I will probably spend more time/money down the road on health care.

September has been filled with many small changes that have led to a healthier lifestyle for our whole family. I have been prioritizing exercise and can already feel looser pants! I've been focusing on whole grains and keeping more fruits and vegetables (especially organic) for snacking. I've spent more time in the kitchen, but the rewards will be worth it in the end.

A family game of croquet

In fact, they already are.

The Smartest Kid On The Block

2011-09-27T09:05:00.000-07:00

I started school again! And that is not a happy apostrophe. That is a kicking-and-screaming-all-the-way-apostrophe!

I enjoy the MSW program, but summer was so awesome, I don't want it to end. But I do have a light schedule the ENTIRE year--give a big WOOT to that! And that is a happy apostrophe!

My plans?

Go to school until I'm 64.

Work one year.

Retire!

I must be the smartest kid on the block.

My mommy wanted a ~~first day of school picture~~ 1,267,831st day of school pic--so here you go mom! I love you! Thanks for the encouragement all these years!

Dancing For Africa

2011-09-21T16:37:00.000-07:00

I want to thank everyone who is reaching out to Africa. Thank you, thank you! And an especially BIG thank you from the children who have no voice!

Praying for Africa reminds me of some of my favorite fairy tales, retold by Rachel Isadora. They have an African theme and are a must for every child's library.

Our favorite is Rapunzel.

I also like, The Princess and the Pea, but Vu doesn't like it because he says the prince is only interested in finding a real princess when he should be marrying for love. Ah, my sweet boy. So very wise is he.

Another recent find was Giraffes Can't Dance, by Giles Andreae and Guy Parker-Rees. African themed with a great moral, I especially love the last line, "We all can dance . . . when we find music that we love."

Keep praying for Africa. Keep giving others the chance to dance.

Plea For Africa : Ask 5 For 5

2011-09-19T08:47:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,

I turn to you today with the plea of a guest blogger, Sarah Lanssen. Together we can make a difference!

Guest Blogger: Sarah Lenssen from #Ask5for5
Family photos by Mike Fiechtner Photography

Thank you Ann and nearly 150 other bloggers from around the world for allowing me to share a story with you today, during Social Media Week.

A hungry child in East Africa can't wait. Her hunger consumes her while we decide if we'll respond and save her life. In Somalia, children are stumbling along for days, even weeks, on dangerous roads and with empty stomachs in search of food and water. Their crops failed for the third year in a row. All their animals died. They lost everything. Thousands are dying along the road before they find help in refugee camps.

At my house, when my three children are hungry, they wait minutes for food, maybe an hour if dinner is approaching. Children affected by the food crisis in Ethiopia, Kenya, and Somalia aren't so lucky. Did you know that the worst drought in 60 years is ravaging whole countries right now, as you read this? Famine, a term not used lightly, has been declared in Somalia. This is the world's first famine in 20 years.12.4 million people are in need of emergency assistance and over 29,000 children have died in the last three months alone. A child is dying every 5 minutes. It it estimated that 750,000 people could die before this famine is over. Take a moment and let that settle in.

The media plays a major role in disasters. They have the power to draw the attention of society to respond--or not. Unfortunately, this horrific disaster has become merely a footnote in most national media outlets. News of the U.S. national debt squabble and the latest celebrity's baby bump dominate headlines. That is why I am thrilled that nearly 150 bloggers from all over the world are joining together today to use the power of social media to make their own headlines; to share the urgent need of the almost forgotten with their blog readers. Humans have the capacity to care deeply for those who are suffering, but in a situation like this when the numbers are too huge to grasp and the people so far away, we often feel like the little we can do will be a drop in the ocean, and don't do anything at all.

When news of the famine first hit the news in late July, I selfishly avoided it. I didn't want to read about it or hear about it because I knew I would feel overwhelmed and uncomfortable. I wanted to protect myself. I knew I would need to do something if I knew what was really happening. You see, this food crisis is personal. I have a 4-year-old son and a 1 yr-old daughter who were adopted from Ethiopia and born in regions now affected by the drought. If my children still lived in their home villages, they would be two of the 12.4 million. My children: extremely hungry and malnourished? Gulp. I think any one of us would do anything we could for our hungry child. But would you do something for another mother's hungry child?

My friend and World Vision staffer, Jon Warren, was recently in Dadaab Refugee Camp in Kenya--the largest refugee camp in the world with over 400,000 people. He told me the story of Isnino Siyat, 22, a mother who walked for 10 days and nights with her husband, 1 yr-old-baby, Suleiman, and 4 yr.-old son Adan Hussein, fleeing the drought in Somalia. When she arrived at Dadaab, she built the family a shelter with borrowed materials while carrying her baby on her back. Even her dress is borrowed. As she sat in the shelter on her second night in camp she told Jon, "I left because of hunger. It is a very horrible drought which finished both our livestock and our farm." The family lost their 5 cows and 10 goats one by one over 3 months, as grazing lands dried up. "We don't have enough food now...our food is finished. I am really worried about the future of my children and myself if the situation continues."

Will you help a child like Baby Suleiman? Ask5for5 is a dream built upon the belief that you will.

That something I knew I would need to do became a campaign called #Ask5for5 to raise awareness and funds for famine and drought victims. The concept is simple, give $5 and ask five of your friends to give $5, and then they each ask five of their friends to give $5 and so on--in nine generations of 5x5x5...we could raise $2.4 Million! In one month, over 750 people have donated over $25,000! I set up a fundraiser at See Your Impact and 100% of the funds will go to World Vision, an organization that has been fighting hunger in the Horn of Africa for decades and will continue long after this famine has ended. Donations can multiply up to 5 times in impact by government grants to
help provide emergency food, clean water, agricultural support,
healthcare, and other vital assistance to children and families suffering in the Horn.

I need you to help me save lives. It's so so simple; here's what you need to do:

Donate $5 or more on this page (http://seeyourimpact.org/members/ask5for5)
Send an email to your friends and ask them to join us.
Share #Ask5for5 on Facebook and Twitter!

I'm looking for another 100 bloggers to share this post on their blogs throughout Social Media Week. Email me at ask5for5@gmail.com if you're interested in participating this week.

A hungry child doesn't wait. She doesn't wait for us to finish the other things on our to-do list, or get to it next month when we might have a little more money to give. She doesn't wait for us to decide if she's important enough to deserve a response. She will only wait as long as her weakened little body will hold on...please respond now and help save her life. Ask 5 for 5.

Thank you on behalf of all of those who will be helped--you are saving lives and changing history.

p.s. Please don't move on to the next website before you donate and email your friends right now. It only takes 5 minutes and just $5, and if you're life is busy like mine, you probably won't get back to it later. Let's not be a generation that ignores hundreds of thousands of starving people, instead let's leave a legacy of compassion. You have the opportunity to save a life today!

The Best Day In America

2011-09-17T21:35:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted much about how Rose is transitioning because honestly, in so many ways, I forget how much she is still transitioning.

Until I get a reminder.

Last weekend we went to the Mid-Autumn Moon Festival downtown. It's a major celebration in both China and Vietnam--think mooncakes! The festival here was tiny with just dancing, lantern hanging, and mooncake buying in a big parking lot.

But Rose? She was SO excited! She was happy to engage in the question and answer session that was given in Chinese. She was THRILLED to see the red lanterns, the booths teaching Chinese characters, and she loved speaking to complete strangers in her native tongue. She befriended one older woman and began chattering away in Cantonese, eventually asking the woman if she was Chinese or American? The woman replied (then translated for me) that she is American, with Chinese roots, just like Rose.

Rose looked a bit surprised--shocked really. She had to think about it. And then she asked the lady if she had been adopted too!

After purchasing bubble tea and Chinese food, we headed home.

On the car ride, Rose gave a deep sigh then said to me, "This me happiest day in America!"

For a moment in time, in a big parking lot, she saw familiar sights, heard her mother tongue, ate traditional foods--for an afternoon she felt like she was back in China.

More reminders of all she has lost. Tempered with all she has gained. Bittersweet.

Never, Ever, Ever Give Up

2011-09-16T05:04:00.000-07:00

Going through tough times? Feel like quitting? Parenting a child from the hard places?

Be the runner.

Or be the one who comes to the runner's side.

When you don't give up you cannot fail --Derek Redmond.

Blessings

2011-09-10T17:32:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning with a song running through my head. Actually, more of a tune, with a few words interspersed. So, so clear. But I didn't know the name. Or the artist. Still, it kept a presence so strong I felt an urging from God to find it. I finally did some detective work and discovered Blessings, by Laura Story. Especially appropriate on the eve of 9/11.

The Great Thong Incident

2011-09-10T07:14:00.000-07:00

My comment about thongs in my last post reminds me of how often I forget to call them "flip-flops."

And recalling how often I forget to call them "flip flops" always reminds me of The Great Thong Incident.

Years back, when Will was in middle school, he had a bunch of friends over. The boys were all in the family room and I was in the kitchen, which was separated from the family room by a long counter top.

I was making some lunch when I tripped over something. I cried out over my stubbed toe, then bent down with horror and screamed, "Oh no! I just broke my thong!!! Ohhhh, I can't believe it! My favorites!!!! And brand new! Ohhhh! I hope I can glue my thong back together!!!"

I popped up from behind the kitchen counter and looked into the family room where a multitude of 8th grade boys stood gaping at me from the other side of the room. They all stared at me in stunned silence, with open-mouthed, horrified faces.

It took me a moment to realize my blunder and then it was my turn to look at them in stunned silence, wondering how to explain it! I began to giggle out loud and then through shrieks of laughter told them I wasn't talking about THAT kind of thong!!! I laughed until I cried, and all those boys got quite a hoot out of it too.

To this day, when I see some of those same boys, now all grown up, they will often remind me of The Great Thong Incident.

Laugh. It does the body good.

The Mystery Of The Missing Shoes? Or Missing Brain?

2011-09-09T12:17:00.000-07:00

Since the first week of school is almost over I thought I should post first day of school pics.

They were all up and running with new school supplies, new lunch boxes, new clothing and new shoes.

Except that one child did not have new shoes. Patrick. He looked and looked and could not find his new shoes. Notice that he is the only one not smiling in the picture above.

Now, herein lies the mystery. In my mind I did not buy him new shoes because he had outgrown his old shoes when he wasn't supposed to--in May, just when the school year ended. (My kids are only allowed to outgrow their shoes in August and February, so we can maintain the "new shoes" schedule.)

And ~~because I didn't want to listen to my son complain about how much his feet were hurting~~ because I am such a loving mother, I bought Patrick a new pair of shoes in May, and he hardly wore them all summer because we were on ~~thongs~~ flip-flops schedule. (Yes, I just aged myself. Back in the olden days flip-flops were called thongs. Thongs--hee-hee. Thongs. Yes, I'm immature.)

Anyhoo, in my mind Patrick did not, and does not, have new shoes. (He does have shoes that are like-new and very functional. Don't judge me.)

But Patrick insists that I did buy him new shoes and he can even describe them as black and white.

And because I know that my brain often goes missing, I have spent the week looking for these new, black and white, hypothetical shoes. That I apparently did buy. But cannot find.

Looked and looked. Cannot find.

But perhaps I cannot find them because they do not even exist?

And so herein lies the conclusion that I just might have to come to. Even tho I don't want to. No, I REALLY do not want to come to this conclusion. And yet I must.

Is it possible that I have passed on the missing brain gene to my child?

Please, tell me this gene skips a generation? My mind will be so gone by the time I have grandkids that at least I won't have to feel guilty about passing them the missing brain gene.

In the meantime, I will keep looking for a pair of possibly fictional, black and white shoes.

And if you really love me, please sneak into my house in the middle of the night and hide a pair of black and white shoes where I can find them, so I will think that it is really only me who is losing my mind, and not my highly-intelligent child.

Dear Summer,

2011-09-08T00:13:00.000-07:00

Dear Summer,

I cannot believe our time together has come and gone. It seems like just yesterday that you arrived!

Is it really possible that our days together have come and gone?

I just want you to know how much I enjoyed your visit.

I will so miss our days of lounging around,

sleeping in,

enjoying each other's company,

and spending our days enriched with sweet laughter,

amidst growing affection.

Yes, I know you were late arriving,

and it originally caused some consternation,

but all was forgotten when you finally showed your sunny, smiling face.

Our encounter was simply too brief.

Summer, you are an absolute delight! I am more in love with you than ever. I look forward to your visit next year.

Please arrive much earlier and stay for much, much longer.

All my best,

Fall Winter Spring

School Year Success

2011-09-03T00:17:00.000-07:00

Summer is nearly over. Sigh. Where is the "dislike" button?

Even tho I don't want summer to end, it's time to start thinking about school year organization, which means it's time, once again, to repost my keys to a successful school year.

For your viewing pleasure, I have included the original post here:

SCHOOL YEAR SUCCESS

1.) Get up early. This is difficult. But so important.

2.) Have a master calendar and daily planner. Check every night before bed and every morning upon waking. And if you have dementia like me, several times in between. I also have a large bulletin board in the laundry room with master school and sports schedules.

3.) Keep a master box of extra school supplies. I buy extra supplies in the summer when things are on sale. Poster board is a very important supply. I've learned this the hard way trying to find a store open at 11 pm for a procrastinating high-schooler. If my kids need a supply not in the box they are to write me a note and put it on the fridge.

4.) Keep a small school box full of supplies for homework and readily accessible where homework is done. If there is more than one area, have more than one box.

5.) Have a daily homework time for elementary school kids. My older kids fit it in on their own.

6.) Have a desk folder for school info--all those things you get at back-to-school night with teacher e-mails and class schedules. Keep a separate folder for each child.

7.) Make a breakfast menu or at least plan what will be for breakfast the night before. We were a cold cereal family during our years of having a new baby in the house so no guilt from me. It can help just to get out the boxes and bowls.

8.) Make lunches the night before. I usually pack the things that won't get soggy and make the sandwiches the morning of.

9.) Sign and return papers right away. If my child comes home from school and hands me a permission slip for a field trip, I immediately sign it, get money for the event out of my purse and return it to their backpack. Otherwise, it is too easy to forget or bury it on my desk.

10.) Lastly, my MOST SUCCESSFUL SCHOOL ORGANIZATION TIP! Have a check-off list to use in the evening. Direct the children to the list so you are not forever asking the same questions over and over i.e. "Did you brush your teeth, did you . . ." All you need to say is, "Have you finished your check-off list?"

Ours is posted on the side of the fridge. It is for mental check-off only because I have never had much luck at real check-off lists. It is only intended for my elementary age kids.

CHECK OFF LIST

1. 6:45 Start bath/showers
For the record, my kids do not bathe every night. Nobody has died from lack thereof.

2. Lay out clothes
They lay out what they will wear the next day including clothes, socks, shoes, hair accessories

3. Put backpack by front door (make sure homework is signed)

4. Do a housesweep
No actual sweeping involved--they look all around the house and pick up their things. They also spend a few minutes picking up their bedroom.

5. Have a snack if you have time
(They need to be done with all the above by 7:45 to have a snack--it's a very good incentive!)

6. Brush teeth

7. Read

Now we can go back to our regularly scheduled program of enjoying the last days of summer.

Large Family Friends

2011-08-31T09:37:00.000-07:00

Elizabeth at Ordinary Times is one of my favorite bloggers. We are also (now) real friends (as opposed to only blogger/internet-I-feel-like-she's-my-friend-because-I-read-her-blog-friends).

Have you ever found yourself talking to someone saying, "I have this friend who is adopting . . . " and then you stop short, realizing that you really only know that person through their blog? Which is kinda weird. And maybe kinda creepy to some. And yet I really do feel like I know some bloggers like friends. Ya know?

But it's even weirder to say, "I have this internet friend who is adopting . . . ." That's even weirder. And creepier. And makes it sound like I go into chat rooms to chat with weird, creepy friends.

Anyhoo, Elizabeth is a real friend because we have had real conversations through comments on each other's blogs. (Does that count as being real friends?)

We have also had real conversations through e-mail. And the phone. (Real, real friends?)

Finally, we have actually seen and talked to each other in real life. I have even been to her house! (This is where you can gasp that one of my former blogger/internet-I-feel-like-she's-my-friend-because-I-read-her-blog-friends is really, truly, now a real, real friend, because-I-have-e-mailed-her-and-talked-to-her-and-even-met-her-in-real-life-and-been-to-her-house-friend.)

Except that after all this explanation she is probably going to think I am too weird (and creepy) to be her real friend. So maybe now she isn't my friend at all.

Anyhoo, anyhoo, Elizabeth has an excellent post today on raising a large family. I especially love her thoughts on the costs.

As for me and my herd-of-a-large-family-kids, we are off to the zoo today.

To meet more real friends.

To torture the animals.

And to give the other zoo patrons some large family entertainment.

Oh! And of course, to eat more snowcones.

To cool off the end-of-summer-blues.

Off To College

2011-08-29T22:41:00.000-07:00

Orientation over the weekend:

First day of classes today:

The first day of the rest of her life! My baby girl is growing up!

She didn't even cry. Which is more than I can say for myself.

Summer Sewing--Cute and Easy Apron For Kids

2011-08-27T23:57:00.000-07:00

We had so much fun making aprons!

Rose was absolutely enamoured with the sewing machine and, by the end, able to sew with just a little assistance. I bought my sewing machine when I was in 8th grade with money from my paper route--talk about getting my moneys-worth!

Patrick was happy to show off his skills.

I found such a cute and easy pattern on this website--reversible and adorable!

We used flannel simply because it was what I had on hand, but any cotton fabric will do. The only thing I had to buy was a pair of D-rings for each apron neckband.

Rose wanted hers to be the same on both sides:

Patrick chose monkeys for one side:

Sharks on the other:

Vu went for puppies and monkeys:

I made the pattern 2" longer for Rose and Patrick, and would make the neck strap 2" shorter in the future.

It's a quick and easy pattern and would make a really cute gift.

I am so glad my mother and grandmother taught me to sew. It's a great life skill and one I've enjoyed passing down to my own children. If you don't know how to sew, come on over and join the party!

Happy Sewing!

Advocating For Waiting Children--Edited

2011-08-26T07:40:00.000-07:00

"I believe there are locked up secrets in these children, in the core of their being. I belive there are parents who can unlock them, who relish the challenge and the opportunity."~ Dr. Jane Aronson

Currently, there are more children than ever on waiting child listing. If adoption has been tugging at your heart, please consider whether one of these children is meant to be your child.

For those who completed an adoption through China in the last year, reusing your dossier is incredibly easy--and less expensive.

On a VERY happy note, Rose's friend who we were advocating for has found a family! We are extremely excited! More on that miracle later.

For now, there is another child who is close to aging out:

Edited: She has a family!!!!! I disabled the link to protect her privacy.

But there are still so many older kids close to aging out--especially boys! Imagine this sweet boy in your family, or this handsome young man, or this kid who has personality plus. There are also some precious older children who are close aging out on ASIA's website. Once these kids turn 14 they are delegated to the life of an orphan forever--their futures are very grim indeed.

Summer Creations

2011-08-24T19:33:00.000-07:00

I love summer and refuse to even think about the fact that it will end soon!

I can't even believe I just typed that, because that means I have to admit to it.

Lucky for me I have short-term memory loss--so what was I was just saying?? Huh? I can't hear you!

We've had fun making homemade ice cream in ziplock bags--easy, just google a recipe and directions--you can even eat it right out of the bag. Just make sure you do it outside!

We made homemade envelopes which brought out the creativity in the older kids. Lizzy even made matching personalized stationary for all her graduation thank yous. Just open a small envelope (gently open the glued edges), trace onto a torn out page from a magazine, cut around it, fold, then glue-stick leaving the flap open (tape it closed later). It's also nice to stick a mailing label for the address space.

It can actually be quite addictive--notice the variety!

And nail art has taken on all new dimensions in our household including zebra nails:

And nail-polish-tattoo-art--which the boys are loving!

Up next--a super simple and really cute apron for kids.

Midnight Musings On Grief

2011-08-22T01:13:00.000-07:00

It's been a great summer--one filled with family, friends, lots of relaxation, kid time, couple time, and just plain fun.

But it's also been a hard summer--one filled with something I don't usually allow myself--ME time. Me time is something I avoid because "me time" means quiet time, and too often, quiet time means being pulled back towards that deep dark crevasse of hell I stared into right after my son died--grief. The unending depth of it terrorized me. It was a mind-chilling, heart wrenching, black hole of death. I tucked my tail, grabbed the hand of God, and ran away like a wild woman.

As I've said so often, I run from grief. I know that about myself. And I used to think it was a bad thing--that I wasn't grieving "right." But one of my best friends gently suggested to me that perhaps it was the only way I could preserve myself--to only take in the smallest bit of grief I could handle at one time--and to run from the rest. To do it any other way would have killed me.

She's right.

But as the years passed I realized that I needed to go back and face more of that black hole. I was getting tired of running. And I worried that all that running was keeping me from experiencing the fullness of emotion I once embodied. I needed to see if in fact that black crevasse was still as depthless as I thought.

It was. And yet, it wasn't.

It's a lie that time heals all pain. Time gives us a chance to figure out how to bury pain. And how to live with pain.

Faith gives us a chance to heal--even though there will always be a raging scar and one that can be torn back open, sometimes at the most unexpected times.

One book I found helpful was, Choosing to See, by Mary Beth Chapman (wife of Steven Curtis Chapman), who tragically lost her five-year-old daughter in an accident. The end of her book especially resonated with me when she discusses how there is no "right" way to grieve. I particularly found a parallel to the grief our adopted children experience:

"I've now read so many books on grief that I should have a degree, but you know what? There isn't any one way to do it My story isn't yours and your story isn't mind. I've come to the conclusion that the only thing people who are suffering and grieving have in common, at least if you believe as I do as a Christian, is the One who suffered for us. And the Father, who grieved for Him going to the cross, understands."

Though our grief experiences are all very different, I've come to the same conclusion as Mary Beth, when she is crying out to God asking why? How?

Why? "Because I am God . . . keep walking and keep trusting . . . love well the ones still in your charge and care . . . realize that time is short, life is hard, but I've given you so much, do not squander it!"

How? "By remembering that I am God and your trust has to rely completely on Me . . . not striving of your own will to fix, heal, cure, help, calm any of what you see as mess. I allow what I allow for reasons you can't even comprehend . . . rest. You won't figure this out, but He who holds Maria holds you."

For now, I can stop running, resting in the truth that I will never understand the circumstances surrounding the loss of Joe this side of heaven. God knows, and I am trusting in Him.

But I also know that if I need to, I can once again grab the hand of God and run away like a wild woman.

And that's okay too.

Summer Craziness

2011-08-20T11:22:00.000-07:00

Oh Me! Oh My! It has been a whirlwind of a crazy month here! I keep thinking I'll do a post but because it's been awhile and there's do much catching up to do I then feel like I need to do a big post with a big lotta pictures and then I don't do it because I have too much other stuff to do and then I have even more pictures and more updates to post which means I would have to do an even bigger longer and greater picture post so then I don't and then . . .

You get the picture. Even though I'm not going to post a lot of pictures.

Instead I will just say it's been a crazy past couple of weeks and one crazy wild ride.

It included camping, a class reunion, an anniversary, family and friends, VBS, lots and lots of school shopping, craft making, and park playing.

Whew! I'm tired.

And therein lies the most boring post ever--but at least you know I am still alive. Because I know you were all lying awake every night wondering in agony if I was. Alive that is. Not boring. You already know that.

Stay tuned for some real life posts, coming soon to a blog near you!

Just as soon as I can find my brain. Which is probably buried under the big pile of camping gear--still waiting to be put away.

Joy and Sorrow

2011-08-05T20:24:00.000-07:00

In the midst of sorrow, we continue to experience great joy. It is one of God's miracles.

I remember when Joe was so sick. When we began to know that he might not get well. That he wouldn't get better. That this "good cancer" was actually a very, very bad cancer. That the unthinkable was upon us. That Satan is real. That bad things really do happen to good people. That there was nothing more to try.

I remember reading a book about surviving tough times, and the author stated the importance of remembering that the future would hold moments of incredible happiness.

I remember how I found that hard to believe. Impossible to believe that I would ever feel true happiness again.

And yet I do. Often in the simplest of moments.

Like joining my three littles in their fort for a movie:

And taking my oldest out to a birthday dinner:

And watching him as best man at his best friend's wedding, including hearing his heartfelt toast to a couple obviously in love:

Visiting relatives and new babies in the family:

Teaching my children to sew and having memories come flooding back of my own mother teaching me:

Summer croquet while visiting my sister:

Watching my children ride horses, knowing my rancher grandparents are smiling in heaven:

Going to the sprinkler park and spending time with my good friend and goddaughter:

Otter Pops:

And more Otter Pops:

Which always remind me of Joe. Who loved Otter Pops. And loved leaving the wrappers all over the house, which drove me insane.

For some reason, when I see wrappers all over the house now I don't feel frustration, I just feel the happiness of knowing Joe is smiling down from heaven.

Praise God for His gift of joy.

Forever in Our Hearts

2011-08-03T15:24:00.000-07:00

We miss you. We love you.

It never gets any easier, but every year we are closer to all being together for eternity--in a place where there is no sadness, no tears, no pain.

The kids have declared today a chore free, reading free day, because you would have wanted it that way. They are right.

It's also a day for milkshakes, ribs, and the new Transformers movie.

Because you would have wanted it that way.

But my heart still aches for you--a hole that can never be filled.

We miss you. We love you.

But we will keep on living the life you never had a chance to complete--until we meet again.

"You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book." ~ Psalm 56:8

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." ~ Romans 8:38-39

Before And After

2011-08-02T09:42:00.000-07:00

Summer 2010

Summer 2011

"God places the lonely in families"

Psalm 68:6

Summer Reading

2011-07-28T09:18:00.000-07:00

We have been working hard this summer on reading skills.

All three of my little boys have loved these beginning readers by Lavaun Linde and Mary Quishenberry: Bible Stores for Early Readers. They are hard to find, but worth the search (we ordered ours through a homeschool site). When my kids are ASKING for bible stories I'm happy to comply!

Other favorites are the Little Bear and Frog and Toad series. And of course, Dr. Seuss.

Patrick is currently crazy in love with the Poppy Series (Avi), and Paul is crazy-not-in-love with reading anything, but working his way through Brian's Winter and Z Rex.

Rose continues to read Mandarin story books. I especially love those that are bilingual and come with a read-a-long CD. Her English is developing at lightning fast speed, but we really want her to keep her native languages--which is a huge challenge when nobody in our family speaks Cantonese or Mandarin.

For bedtime stories we have been working through What Your Third Grader Needs to Know.

What are your kids reading? Does anyone have suggestions for 7th grade Paul? How about a new series for 4th grade Patrick? A nice summer read-aloud?

Happy Reading!

Welcome!

2011-07-26T06:33:00.000-07:00

I used to come home to this:

Now I come home to this:

That makes me happy. Very, very happy.

Thank you Debbie for the special gift!

Bad Mommy Moments

2011-07-25T00:21:00.000-07:00

Bad Mommy Moments. I hate 'em. Know what I mean? Those times I lose my temper, yell at my kids, lack patience . . . fall short of the grace I am so freely given--and so desire to give. There is nothing worse than looking into the eyes of my wounded child. And yet, I fail again and again.

As bad as those moments feel, I have to admit, I learn through them. I learn through that pain. I learn to be more patient, understanding, and loving.

Recently, such a learning experience occurred.

Rose spills things. A lot. A lot, a lot. I can generally count on her spilling her drink at least once a day--sometimes more. I find myself mystified as to why an older, very capable, very dexterous child does this. I can only believe that it is a combination of: using glasses and cups that are different than those in China (where it is common to drink directly out of your bowl), using tables and chairs that are at different heights (such as bar stools), excitement, and, well, just a different life! It all adds up to a brain that has not been trained by the repetition of having a glass of milk placed before her in our cups, at our table, with our household distractions, in our home.

I am reminded of how Vu could not hold onto things in the car when he first came home from Vietnam. If he had anything in his hands--a water bottle, cookie, or toy--we would drive around a corner and I would hear a "thunk"--then his cries. It had never occurred to me that kids actually learn how to hold onto things in a moving vehicle.

Anyhoo, back to Rose. Initially, I was very patient with spilled milk. You know the saying. But I did find myself becoming more agitated. Spilled milk was one thing, an entire glass of orange juice all over the homework basket another. I tried using different cups, only filling half-way, teaching her to keep it further back etc.

Finally, one day, she spilled an entire container of cup-of-noodles all over the dining room carpet. White carpet. (And in case you've never noticed, chicken flavored cup-of-noodles is colored yellow.) Yellow + White = Yellow. To this day, I still have a big yellow spot on my white carpet.

I would love to tell you that I responded as if I were Mother Teresa. But that would be a lie. And Mother Teresa definitely wouldn't lie. I didn't yell. In fact, I didn't say a thing. Rose began to profusely apologize, just as always. But instead of simply telling her it was okay, I didn't say anything. I just looked at her, took a deep breath and silently began to clean it up. She continued to apologize, for she knew I was upset, and yet, I just kept cleaning, declining her requests to help me, then going back into steely silence.

Rose sat in a nearby chair watching me. Finally, I heard a soft, muffled cry. I looked up into her face. Silent tears reached out and grasped my Grinch-sized heart. Oh my soul! Had I really caused my sweet new daughter such sadness? Me? Her mother who is supposed to love her unconditionally? Upset over a spill?

It was definitely a Bad Mommy Moment. Filled with the anguish of regret.

I went to her, took her in my arms, held her and apologized. Even now, as I write, I feel such remorse for her tears that day.

As I sat with her I realized that I had I lost more than my temper. I had lost an opportunity to show my child how to handle a problem with grace and with love. Worse, I had lost an opportunity to show my child that I love her unconditionally.

Now, when she spills her milk (which she still does quite frequently), I remember that it isn't just spilled milk, it's an opportunity to show her patience, grace, and unconditional love.

The silver lining from a Bad Mommy Moment.

The Not-So-Great Stayve-Cation Update

2011-07-22T21:52:00.000-07:00

I think my kids are getting Stayve-Cationed out. And so am I. Is it too late to send them all to overnight camp? Until school starts?

Yup! It was that kind of day! Luckily, tomorrow's a new day!

The Boy Who Was Raised As A Dog

2011-07-22T00:01:00.000-07:00

A must-read for all adoptive parents and those who work with children--The Boy Who Was Raised As A Dog And Other Stories From a Child Psychiatrist's Notebook, by Bruce Perry and Maia Szalzvitz.

I'm not sure how this book has escaped my bookshelf, but I found it to be one of the most important in understanding how trauma affects the brain of a child. It is both difficult and easy to read--the subject matter difficult, but Perry makes it easy to understand. I was particularly struck with Perry's ability to empathize with those involved, and his belief in the ability of each child to find healing.

There were so many passages I loved, but here are some of my favorites:

"What maltreated and traumatized children most need is a healthy community to buffer the pain, distress and loss caused by their earlier trauma. What works to heal them is anything that increases the number and quality of a child's relationships. What helps is consistent, patient, repetitive loving care."

"Working with children who have experienced . . . early trauma . . . requires two things that are often in short supply in our modern world: time and patience. Traumatized children tend to have overactive stress responses and, as we've seen, these can make them aggressive, impulsive and needy. . . Before they can make any kind of lasting change at all in their behavior, they need to feel safe and loved. Unfortunately, however, many of the treatment programs and other interventions aimed at them get it backwards: they take a punitive approach and hope to lure children into good behavior by restoring love and safety only if the children first start acting "better."

"One of the greatest lessons I've learned in my work is the importance of simply taking the time, before doing anything else, to pay attention and listen."

"I cannot emphasize enough how important routine and repetition are to recovery."

Through case studies, Perry gives an excellent understanding of how trauma and abuse affect a child's neurobiology, development, attachment, and resilience, while simultaneously showing the way to individual, familial, and societal healing. A must-read-must-own-book.

The Great Stayve-Cation Update

2011-07-19T18:17:00.000-07:00

The Great Stayve-Cation continues on!

As a mom who loves nothing more than staying home and spending time with family, this is my idea of the perfect summer! The kids seem to be enjoying it too--tho I can feel some undertones of needing some new activities for the older kids by the end of summer.

Our days have been spent camping in the backyard (check out my mad tent skills!)

making forts and having slumber parties, and going through the craft closet and finding all kinds of forgotten materials.

It is fun to get out something, even simple like paint, then watch how even the olders become involved.

We have been sewing (future post coming),

hiking,

and picking gallons upon gallons of strawberries,

then making freezer jam.

And the dance parties have rocked the block.

We have also spent time reading, swimming, biking, and watching way too much TV.

It's been good. Really, REALLY good.

First Bike

2011-07-16T23:12:00.000-07:00

One of our summer goals is for Rose to learn to ride her new bike, which she received for her birthday. Here is the look on her face when she was given her bike.

And here are some pics with her daddy teaching her to ride. He is such a patient teacher.

Riding a bike is another "first" for Rose and it is taking some time to master it, but with her determination, I have no doubt it will come. I'll post pics when she finds success!

Great Purchase

2011-07-14T23:46:00.000-07:00

ColorKu--The Color Sudoku Puzzle.

My kids have enjoyed this toy so much. Patrick received it for his birthday on the recommendation of my sister. It is well made, educational, fun, and can be used in a variety of ways, by a variety of ages.

It's a rare toy that I think worth the money. This one makes the cut.

Bestsellers?

2011-07-13T09:37:00.000-07:00

Hubby and I have decided to write books! How exciting is that?

We both came to our book titles in different ways. Here's how it all played out:

I walked in the door with wet kids, coming home after spending the afternoon at the local swimming pool. Hubby had just arrived home from work.

Me--"Hi Hon! We had so much fun at the pool! I love that we can get seven people in the pool for three hours and, because of the family rate, it only costs eleven bucks! Isn't that amazing?"

Me, still blabbering away--"You know what? I'm going to write a book! Yes siree, I am! It's going to be called, Cheaper By the Dozen!"

Hubby--distractedly looking through the mail, then opening the bill for swimming lessons. Swimming lessons for five children. Swimming lessons in which no family rate is offered. Swimming lessons which cost . . . well, let's just say, A LOT.

Hubby--a look of shock on his face, finally turns to me and says, "You know what? I'm going to write a book too! I am! It's going to be called, Cheaper By the Dozen--My Ass!"

Stay tuned for release dates.

The Cousin Spa

2011-07-11T23:22:00.000-07:00

The cousin's have been here which is always a blast! Lots of late nights, movies, games, cabin fun, and ice cream!

And let's not forget The Cousin Spa--a tradition that has been going on for years!

The older girls set up a waiting area complete with video games and a movie. This is one top-notch spa!

Oatmeal was the popular choice for facial treatment. (I am pretty sure my boys will hate me someday for posting these pictures, but they are such a hoot I can't resist!)

A massage is always in order.

And then it's time for the youngers to treat the olders to facials.

Rose thought this was a hoot--she must think we are the weirdest family ever. But she loves us anyway and as you can see, she was lovin' the special Cousin Spa treatment.

Welcome to The Chinese Cooking Channel!

2011-07-09T23:40:00.000-07:00

Good afternoon TV viewers! Welcome to the Chinese Cooking Channel!

As you all know, we recently adopted from China.

As a world renowned chef, I believe in spending long hours in the kitchen to perfect my Cantonese cuisine.

Which is a lie.

But, I do believe in offering my daughter foods she is familiar with, and food is an easy comfort.

I have heard some parents say they refuse to give their child familiar ethnic foods--that the child needs to learn to eat American food--that they aren't going to let their kid eat rice all day. But, I personally put myself in my child's shoes and imagine moving to China and being forced to eat foods I am not familiar with (and did I ever mention I do not eat fish or shellfish or seafood or seaweed?)

I am also not a big fan of scorpion, seahorse, or turtles. Tho, to be honest, I've never tried them.

I did try a balut (half formed chick), but I think it must be an acquired taste. Vu, on the other hand, ate five.

Anyhoo, Rose does eat many "American foods," but she also craves comfort foods from her past. And, surprisingly, I find it quite easy to comply.

A trip to an Asian market helps--tho many of these items will be in large grocery chains.

Click on the picture to enlarge. The dried squid and seaweed are big hits with several of our kids. Rose also loves spaghetti, as it is similar to a dish in China (she will use ketchup on noodles too!).

We also use our rice cooker frequently. It is important to rinse the rice several times before soaking and cooking.

And noodles. Lots and lots of noodles.

Put in some green leafies such as baby bok choy, add a hard boiled egg, and you have a filling meal. (And an educational placemat will help fill the brain!)

I hope you've enjoyed your visit to the Chinese Cooking Channel! Please join us for dinner!

Party With The Big Dogs

2011-07-08T08:22:00.000-07:00

I am honored to be hanging out with the big dogs today at We Are Grafted In.

Come on over and join the party!

The site is a great resource for adoptive families.

Duffel Bags, Worn Jeans, Mis-matched Socks

2011-07-07T18:31:00.000-07:00

As I mentioned in my last post, I am washing the vacation laundry, then repacking the bags.

These more-than-gently-used-clothes will be for future camping and cabin trips. No more digging through the new clothes for the old ones.

I am now making my teens implement this brainy idea, so I will no longer smell campfire smoke on their new sweatshirts. The ones I just bought. (Can someone please tell me why my kids would bring their new sweatshirts camping anyway???)

Anyhoo, the camping bag is also an excellent venue for socks with no mates.

And the fish don't seem to care that my children have mis-matched socks.

Another genius idea.

I'm so smart.

Can someone please remind me of this smart idea the next time we go camping? When I can't seem to find any of my kids old clothes?

They are in the duffel bags in the attic. Along with my brain. Thanks.